"Autopsy room doctors" can be bought.;)


You WILL be here for the next edition of the ClydeVivor contest series:
The Eddie Haskell-Jim Pansey-Travesty Triple.


If we played by S. Coburn's rules-a horse would have to run in all 3 races. However there is a chance not all the horses would make it from Long Island to Monmouth in time (traffic issues on the highway) and because I dislike Mr. Coburn's poor sportsmanship, my rules will apply. :D

P.S. Hansen is not eligible Clyde. He's no longer 3.

:tro: :tro:

This one is for Clyde (I know you're watching!)

Tap....Tap....TAPITURE!!!

There will be repercussions for this nincompoopence.

DebbieKins....would you tell SnottyPoo that I do not read NerdyTrail anymore and that she is now no.1 on my Hunt&Kill list.

= I ran across this in the NATIONAL SOCIETY OF GREAT POIM WRITERS.It is the not all that long lost last poim by -ALAN-:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41n3mwCcZQ4

if you pledged allegiance to the flag
and met a streetcar named desire
would you run yourself for a very small tag
and set you bra on fire?

if you ran with the bulls and danced with fate
and tossed you cares away
would you head for the hills,having romanced your date
and manage your affairs today?

if you talked to a zebra who knew an amoeba
and you thought it so untrue
would you say "eureka!,i know an akita!"
and then slam down a glass of moo?

if you loved a horsey who was no big dea
l and gave candy to someone you did not know
would you also love tommy the trained seal
and then bet on yourself to show?

if you sucked on a big sucker,an immense alltheday
and sought your fortune and fame
would you forget all about intenseholiday
and stop recalling his name?

if you made it through life while avoiding crime
and tried to do right at the zoo
would you reconcile you were short on time
and referenced a story of the blues?

if all you wanted was a little more
and talked to the unknown soldier
would you see he could not grow older
and you had become such bore?

if you really liked onefourdave as well as hershey bars
and rolled with the punches and walked your own way
would you ask for onemorefave as well as the way to the stars
and ruin your life by the grant of a stay?


but a dream goes on forever


the not all that long lost last poim by -ALAN-....from Flakes of Snow

:wf

Hey sistah... someone asked me to post this for you:

At the rifle range, in the Marines....the white flag you wave ;that was called Maggies Drawers.It signified a complete miss of the target.The repercussions of this signal, were VERY bad!

But I understand what you mean.

You are now off the list.

Do not abuse CLYDEFORM!! and you will stay off the list.

It was not an abuse of CLYDEFORM, but a suggestion to the millions of subscribers that Sighty Off is just about the best angle one can find in CLYDEFORM! :D

Kid Fizzle, Tapiture....the ZCs have spoken.

Oh is this related to what he said cause honestly I don't even bother to read... oh I mean riiiiight well I'm sure he will see your comments and have a response. :D

From Him:

I miss ClydeyPooKins so much.I keep pouring over the big national horsey sites and too my emotional joy------I found a column he wrote! It was in THE FINAL URN:




RATIONALIZING THE IRRATIONAL

by Clyde Coillinwood,Cretaor of CLYDEFORM!!


The race named after Ned and Hydra has produced more kumquatery than YippyDowns ever imagined.Why ,do you think.....this is?

Why have so many triple crown hopefuls since 1978 failed to do so? This has been exposed time and again;any half wit of a horsey handicapper already knows.

So do you.

I know what your thinking.You're thinking ,"Well there he goes again.Taking a column and in two short paragraphs he has rendered it useless.Devoid of any hardscrabble ,newsworthy delights.(Always thought hardscrabble was a tough word game, but oh well)

Well no.

Not true.

Wouldn't you like to know why?

It's because I do admire Stevie Hasbeen.Stevie knows I kid by playing on his name as I do find him eloquent and astute;erudite,agile,adroit,sage-ish....and yer whatnot.He's kind of a romantic in horsey picking word strings.(By the way, I do know about changing "y" to "ie" when pluralizing.I just don't like it.Too girlish most of the time.)

Laugh Out Loud!Sighty is going nuts trying to figure out what I just said in parenthesis.

But to the issue.

Which I forgot.

No! Wait!

I remember now , but it's not about horsey's. I have ambition to go beyond horsey writing, so here goes rationalizing the irrational. If you feel you have been mislead,too bad.


First, what is irrational? It's something that is not rational.So simple. How many of us perform irrational acts every day? Probably everyone.Reacting by strange instinct or from an overpowering emotion. Like when a day has gone bad and a policemen stops you for speeding,and you know you were.....yet you tell him to go **** himself AND the Close Encounters Of A Third Kind police car that he rode in on.This is irrational and makes bad things.....even more badder.

Know what?

You were right.

I don't know where to go with this.

Let's take a break,shall we? Yes.break time and maybe in a few minutes, why ....I'll know what to do.After all, it is ObviouslyTuesday.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqa1s4jhkQ8



The Debonatah says I cannot pick Hansen in three year old races anymore because he is four.There she goes again displaying that high black boot enforcer personality.Well guess what MS. Longerei? I will still pick him and deal with your dupa later.

"Sighty Off "....holy cow.A new genre of smut has been created.

Perhaps it can hybrid somehow with Brown Sugah's brick brownies and Arlettuce's nikkidie(TM) handicapping.




There I go again.


I really have typed myself into a corner....now have not I? I said to Jeanie this morning,"Baby, ah got the blues hawney----do you have any jelly donuts for Elvis?" She mistook my request as a metaphor.It's hot today and she had on but a halter .....and out they quickly came.

"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!"....I exclaimed...."I didn't know it was THAT easy!"But now that I know;wait until I tell her about the old Allman Brothers album entitled Eat A Peach.

I would think the above is a perfect example of rationalizing the irrational.Thank my lucky's I found a way out of the mess I had created.

The thing is,your computer could refuse to release from NoAdvantage mode and you would be stuck there with no way out. How long could you take topics like:

What is your favorite vegetable soup word?

Anyone watching your local weather right now?

Is man inherently stupid?

Ever **** a buffalo?

Shouldn't the Okly-homer Thunder be called the Okly-homer Almost Inaudible?

Lefties are ruining this country.

Aw fer **** sakes----I just cut off another finger.I hate when that happens!!!!

Who is baffert!!??

Righties are ruining this country.

Learn Canadian Spaceship repair in the comfort of your home.

If you could smash any part of your body with a hammer-----which part would you choose?

Are'unt you happy you opted out of the straight life? (This one, they have to be kidding me.)




You do see how it could be so much worse? Matterhorn;watch for him.That tip alone will make this all worth while.Anyways!!....I will close(stop that obnoxious applauding!) with a fine stimulation of the inner senses with this doo dah tune:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xi7kzGeOWpw



"I signed off on a strangulation victim as a ruptured aorta on the death certificate."----Dr. Diamond Jim Westmoreland,Coroner of West Granville,MA.

That was special.

Mayflies, also known as Canadian soldiers, blanketed buildings, cars, parking lots and just about everything that was stationary.

Whatever ya do.. DON'T squish them... Peeee Yeeeww.

At least hey only last a day or two.. but YUCK!


http://www.cleveland.com/rocky-river...ade_rocky.html

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/local-n...dewalks-lights

His reply:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlLakWAdsY0

!!

:D
:tro:

So much so that I seriously cannot remember what I was about to post.

Isn't it time for another contest though?

Or some ice cream?

Or both?

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, please. :p

Mint chocolate chip for me :)

And will you be wanting to lick that off of someone or having a cone (sorry I just saw Big Run's post on the joke-less thread and although I am not gay suddenly found myself wondering about... well never mind. I can always email you those dirty thoughts). :eek: :p

That sounds good!