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Originally Posted by Dr.SwineSmeller
8/19/08 How To Spank a Horse's Rear, with Dr. SwineSmeller
Delaware Park, Races 2, 7, and 8. Post 1:12 Eastern time.
The lineups at Delaware Park today resemble the aftermath of a demolition derby. Even so, a sharp angle of shiney steel can sometimes be cut from twisted scrap iron. With Deleware's top two welders out of the shop today, Gabriel Saez stands as top torchman, and I'm banking on him to make three NASCAR's out of three WRECKEDCAR's. Weld on a double play using the one hole, a double play using "top rider for top purses", and a double play of horses that have 4 words in their name all rolled into one big long name that's hard to read, and the percentages increase for a blindsided hit and run.
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Race 2.
When Gumpster Stables LLC paid a salvage yard price of $1350.00 for a rambling wreck named Cashew Cat, who knows what they were thinking? But, it turned out to be the investment of the century, as Cashew Cat has banked back Gumpster over 50 times their investment, winning $59,000 spark plugs, while banging out a 4-1-1 record in 13 starts. Evidently when her spark plugs are all firing, it's like she's running white lightning in her tank, but when she gets a fender caved in, her wheels simultaneously fall off.
Saez is only given a 6/1 chance of welding his rusty bumpered ride back together first, but, he should be able to weld Cashew Cat to the the rail up front early. In this a two turn event, the top torchman may be all that's needed for Cashew Cat to avoid demolition.
I'm banking Gumpster Stables has installed a new set of lugnuts on #1 Cashew Cat's wheels. I'll play Cashew Cat for $24 WIN. I'll also play a $3 exact box coupling #1 Cashew Cat with #3 Casey's Irish Pride (4/1). Go Baby Go!!
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Race 7.
Santa has brought Delaware's top torchman an early Christmas present this year. The only problem for Saez is, it ain't exactly what he wanted for Christmas. It's a brand spanking new one horse open dented up sleigh named Mrsclausain'tdone. I'm not sure of everything Mrs.Claus ain't done, but according to Santa, she's sure done a lousy job as a sleigh driver. At 5/1 odds, Saez will need to break out his best ballpeen hammer to bang all of the dents out of #1 Mrsclausain'tdone, but a look at her registration papers says Mrs.Claus has all the right tools to lend the torchman a worthy hand.
I'm banking the top torchman welds #1 Mrsclausain'tdone's sleigh to the rails today. I'll play Mrsclausain'tdone for $24 WIN. I'll also play a $3 exacta box coupling #1 Mrsclausain'tdone with #8 Exchange Artist (3/1). Also, I can't resist this whim, so I'll play a $2 exacta box coupling #1 Mrscvlausain'tdone with #4 Oh What Fun (6/1). Go Baby Go!!
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Race 8.
Upon initial appraisal, Possetothemax looks like a junk dealer's dream car. But the owner may beg to differ. Posseetothemax gets in the demolition ring with some hard chromed bumpers who have all won more crash-ups than himself, yet # 6 Possetothemax has the most cash stashed in the trunk. Finishing 2-1-6 in 14 starts says Possetothemax sports some fairly game bumpers himself, and he is likely to give you his best high speed rammin' at 8/1 odds, especially with the top torchman Gabriel Saez at work.
I'm crashing 'em up with Possetothemax for $24 to WIN. I'll also play a $3 exacta box coupling #6 Possetothemax with #1 Jet Run (4/1). Go baby Go!!
Dr. SwineSmeller
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