A letter to Republicans in Power

[GenuineRisk]

Please sirs (and the rare madam, though not of the kind mentioned in the article linked below)- please give serious thought to ceasing your endless attempts to police the morality of the American people. You just continue to embarrass yourselves. I'm sure this much schaudenfreude, like too many cupcakes, can't possibly be good for me.

http://blogs.abcnews.com/theblotter/..._official.html

And before the Republicans on this board not in elected office (and, I assume, also not creepily obsessed with what other Americans do in their own bedrooms) start yelling, I say, yes, I imagine this DC madam has several Democrats on her list of regulars. And I also say personally, I don't care if the Deputy Secretary of State is visiting a high-class escort service for a "massage" (though, seeing as how he is married, and I assume, having sex with his wife, I sure hope he wore a condom when he got that "massage"). Hell, if I ran the world, I'd legalize prostitution so at least it would be safe, clean, and women wouldn't be getting the crap beaten out of them by men who feel safe doing so because the women can't go to the police for help without getting arrested themselves.

What I do care about is a party that legislates abstinence-only sex-ed for kids while many of its members are apparently out f*cking like bunnies, and not with their spouses (the three leading Republican presidential candidates have five divorces between them, all involving adultery, none of that on the wives' sides). So kids head out into the world as young adults with no credible information on protecting themselves from disease and with a government telling them even French kissing before marriage is bad and could give them AIDS (anyone see Sen. Frist dance around that question? Hilarious, if it weren't so sad). I care about a party demanding, and attempting to legislate, a level of "morality" for the American people that they have no intention of adhering to themselves. Talk about one rule for the mighty and another for the rest of us. I'm sure lots of Democrats are out having sex, too, but they aren't trying to legislate yours, or keep your teenage kids in the dark about condoms. And first and foremost, this is a health issue.

And no, I have no issue with kids being told abstinence is the only 100 percent effective method of disease prevention and birth control (it's true), but I have huge issues with them not being told about all the 95, 93, 80 and all the other percent ones. It's a health issue. Give them the info.

So please, die-hard conservatives, tell the Republican officials you loyally voted into office to drop the "family values" crap and get the hell out of American's sex lives. You can't regulate it, any more than you can eating or sleeping or sh*tting. Because it's that hard-wired into us. So please tell your party leaders to stop trying to make people feel bad about having sex. Tell them to accept it, people like to rut, and the wisest course of action is to make sure they know all the facts about it so that when they indulge, they can do it responsibly, with a minimum of risk. Getting married to have sex is the worst reason to get married and endorsing that course of action is also endorsing divorce, since getting married too young is a leading cause of it. And divorce, at least from what my friends say, is a lot more stressful and upsetting than premarital sex. Tell your representatives it's the smart thing to do. It's the right thing to do.

Or hell, tell them you're tired of your Democratic friends gleefully posting links like the one above. Because it's quite obnoxious of me, I know. And rather like shooting fish in a barrel these days.

And on my part, I'll start telling my Democratic officials to grow spines against the Morality Police and say that abstinence-only sex ed is useless at preventing teen sex and we're better off spending resources trying to prevent spread of disease when having sex. Deal?

Thank you for your attention to this matter, Republicans In Power. Please excuse me. I'm going to go eat a cupcake.

[GPK]

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk

Please sirs (and the rare madam, though not of the kind mentioned in the article linked below)- please give serious thought to ceasing your endless attempts to police the morality of the American people. You just continue to embarrass yourselves. I'm sure this much schaudenfreude, like too many cupcakes, can't possibly be good for me.

http://blogs.abcnews.com/theblotter/..._official.html

And before the Republicans on this board not in elected office (and, I assume, also not creepily obsessed with what other Americans do in their own bedrooms) start yelling, I say, yes, I imagine this DC madam has several Democrats on her list of regulars. And I also say personally, I don't care if the Deputy Secretary of State is visiting a high-class escort service for a "massage" (though, seeing as how he is married, and I assume, having sex with his wife, I sure hope he wore a condom when he got that "massage"). Hell, if I ran the world, I'd legalize prostitution so at least it would be safe, clean, and women wouldn't be getting the crap beaten out of them by men who feel safe doing so because the women can't go to the police for help without getting arrested themselves.

What I do care about is a party that legislates abstinence-only sex-ed for kids while many of its members are apparently out f*cking like bunnies, and not with their spouses (the three leading Republican presidential candidates have five divorces between them, all involving adultery, none of that on the wives' sides). So kids head out into the world as young adults with no credible information on protecting themselves from disease and with a government telling them even French kissing before marriage is bad and could give them AIDS (anyone see Sen. Frist dance around that question? Hilarious, if it weren't so sad). I care about a party demanding, and attempting to legislate, a level of "morality" for the American people that they have no intention of adhering to themselves. Talk about one rule for the mighty and another for the rest of us. I'm sure lots of Democrats are out having sex, too, but they aren't trying to legislate yours, or keep your teenage kids in the dark about condoms. And first and foremost, this is a health issue.

And no, I have no issue with kids being told abstinence is the only 100 percent effective method of disease prevention and birth control (it's true), but I have huge issues with them not being told about all the 95, 93, 80 and all the other percent ones. It's a health issue. Give them the info.

So please, die-hard conservatives, tell the Republican officials you loyally voted into office to drop the "family values" crap and get the hell out of American's sex lives. You can't regulate it, any more than you can eating or sleeping or sh*tting. Because it's that hard-wired into us. So please tell your party leaders to stop trying to make people feel bad about having sex. Tell them to accept it, people like to rut, and the wisest course of action is to make sure they know all the facts about it so that when they indulge, they can do it responsibly, with a minimum of risk. Getting married to have sex is the worst reason to get married and endorsing that course of action is also endorsing divorce, since getting married too young is a leading cause of it. And divorce, at least from what my friends say, is a lot more stressful and upsetting than premarital sex. Tell your representatives it's the smart thing to do. It's the right thing to do.

Or hell, tell them you're tired of your Democratic friends gleefully posting links like the one above. Because it's quite obnoxious of me, I know. And rather like shooting fish in a barrel these days.

And on my part, I'll start telling my Democratic officials to grow spines against the Morality Police and say that abstinence-only sex ed is useless at preventing teen sex and we're better off spending resources trying to prevent spread of disease when having sex. Deal?

Thank you for your attention to this matter, Republicans In Power. Please excuse me. I'm going to go eat a cupcake.

F that cupcake...our new Carmelita bar is the shizzle

[timmgirvan]

Right off the top...I'd say you've already had too much sugar!

[GPK]

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk

Please sirs (and the rare madam, though not of the kind mentioned in the article linked below)- please give serious thought to ceasing your endless attempts to police the morality of the American people. You just continue to embarrass yourselves. I'm sure this much schaudenfreude, like too many cupcakes, can't possibly be good for me.

http://blogs.abcnews.com/theblotter/..._official.html

And before the Republicans on this board not in elected office (and, I assume, also not creepily obsessed with what other Americans do in their own bedrooms) start yelling, I say, yes, I imagine this DC madam has several Democrats on her list of regulars. And I also say personally, I don't care if the Deputy Secretary of State is visiting a high-class escort service for a "massage" (though, seeing as how he is married, and I assume, having sex with his wife, I sure hope he wore a condom when he got that "massage"). Hell, if I ran the world, I'd legalize prostitution so at least it would be safe, clean, and women wouldn't be getting the crap beaten out of them by men who feel safe doing so because the women can't go to the police for help without getting arrested themselves.

What I do care about is a party that legislates abstinence-only sex-ed for kids while many of its members are apparently out f*cking like bunnies, and not with their spouses (the three leading Republican presidential candidates have five divorces between them, all involving adultery, none of that on the wives' sides). So kids head out into the world as young adults with no credible information on protecting themselves from disease and with a government telling them even French kissing before marriage is bad and could give them AIDS (anyone see Sen. Frist dance around that question? Hilarious, if it weren't so sad). I care about a party demanding, and attempting to legislate, a level of "morality" for the American people that they have no intention of adhering to themselves. Talk about one rule for the mighty and another for the rest of us. I'm sure lots of Democrats are out having sex, too, but they aren't trying to legislate yours, or keep your teenage kids in the dark about condoms. And first and foremost, this is a health issue.

And no, I have no issue with kids being told abstinence is the only 100 percent effective method of disease prevention and birth control (it's true), but I have huge issues with them not being told about all the 95, 93, 80 and all the other percent ones. It's a health issue. Give them the info.

So please, die-hard conservatives, tell the Republican officials you loyally voted into office to drop the "family values" crap and get the hell out of American's sex lives. You can't regulate it, any more than you can eating or sleeping or sh*tting. Because it's that hard-wired into us. So please tell your party leaders to stop trying to make people feel bad about having sex. Tell them to accept it, people like to rut, and the wisest course of action is to make sure they know all the facts about it so that when they indulge, they can do it responsibly, with a minimum of risk. Getting married to have sex is the worst reason to get married and endorsing that course of action is also endorsing divorce, since getting married too young is a leading cause of it. And divorce, at least from what my friends say, is a lot more stressful and upsetting than premarital sex. Tell your representatives it's the smart thing to do. It's the right thing to do.

Or hell, tell them you're tired of your Democratic friends gleefully posting links like the one above. Because it's quite obnoxious of me, I know. And rather like shooting fish in a barrel these days.

And on my part, I'll start telling my Democratic officials to grow spines against the Morality Police and say that abstinence-only sex ed is useless at preventing teen sex and we're better off spending resources trying to prevent spread of disease when having sex. Deal?

Thank you for your attention to this matter, Republicans In Power. Please excuse me. I'm going to go eat a cupcake.

This whole post makes me incredibly ashamed to be a Republican...as it seems I am the only one not getting laid...

[GPK]

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

[SCUDSBROTHER]

Originally Posted by GPK

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

REPUBLICAN

You have 2 cows,and your neighbor has none.So,you realize he has to have milk to survive.So,the only good solution is to get yourself 2 more cows.You are such a good person,because now you can give your neighbor just barely enough nourishment to keep him healthy enough to come take care of your 2 new cows.Tonite,you are going to be given a humanitarian award for giving a 2 % share of one of your cows to an organization that works to keep health clinics(for the disadvantaged) open 2 days a week.

[Danzig]

Originally Posted by GPK

This whole post makes me incredibly ashamed to be a Republican...as it seems I am the only one not getting laid...

go with no party affiliation...works for me

[GPK]

Originally Posted by Danzig

go with no party affiliation...works for me

is there less shame in becoming unwillingly celibate...if you are unaffiliated politically?

Originally Posted by GPK

is there less shame in becoming unwillingly celibate...if you are unaffiliated politically?

Kev. Your politics have a recurring theme that is biological.

[GenuineRisk]

Originally Posted by GPK

This whole post makes me incredibly ashamed to be a Republican...as it seems I am the only one not getting laid...

Handsome Kev, you're just going about it the wrong way. What you need to do is start some kind of movement, saying that with enough Jesus in their life, homosexuals can become heterosexual, or that premarital sex will lead to incalculable emotional damage, or that sex is only for procreation, and then go on lots of TV news programs, or get into government (lately I hear qualifications aren't even necessary; as long as you have an altar built to GW somewhere in your home, you're in). Make loud, angry statements about how evil all this sexual permissiveness is and how America must do everything in its power to stop it. I promise you, you'll soon have all the tail you can handle. And nasty stuff, too, I bet! Michelle Malkin in a Catholic schoolgirl's skirt doing cheers for you (because she gets her fetishes mixed up).

[GPK]

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk

Handsome Kev, you're just going about it the wrong way. What you need to do is start some kind of movement, saying that with enough Jesus in their life, homosexuals can become heterosexual, or that premarital sex will lead to incalculable emotional damage, or that sex is only for procreation, and then go on lots of TV news programs, or get into government (lately I hear qualifications aren't even necessary; as long as you have an altar built to GW somewhere in your home, you're in). Make loud, angry statements about how evil all this sexual permissiveness is and how America must do everything in its power to stop it. I promise you, you'll soon have all the tail you can handle. And nasty stuff, too, I bet! Michelle Malkin in a Catholic schoolgirl's skirt doing cheers for you (because she gets her fetishes mixed up).

well damn....here all this time I just thought being popular on a internet horse racing message board was enough to get me all the tail I can handle.

Somebody lied to me...

[GenuineRisk]

Originally Posted by GPK

well damn....here all this time I just thought being popular on a internet horse racing message board was enough to get me all the tail I can handle.

Somebody lied to me...

I'm sorry; but this message has to be pre-empted for thoughts on hockey.

[brianwspencer]

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk

I'm sorry; but this message has to be pre-empted for thoughts on hockey.

Read: ZOMG BEST GAME EVAR!!!!!!!!

(Baba can interpret if you need, he is an expert at l33t speak, as we learned some time ago)

[GPK]

Originally Posted by Bababooyee

Just F a cupcake. Literally.

Do I look like Jason Biggs to you????

[GPK]

Originally Posted by Bababooyee

"If it's gonna be that kinda party, I'm gonna stick my d!ck in the mashed potatoes!" - Beastie Boys

*note to self....carbs are still bad for you...*

[GPK]

Originally Posted by Bababooyee

A short spell in the microwave makes them good....oh....so....good.

Baba....not sure how you know...and not sure I wanna know how you know...

[brianwspencer]

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk

I care about a party demanding, and attempting to legislate, a level of "morality" for the American people that they have no intention of adhering to themselves.

GR,

Great post. Of course it's annoying, because it's nothing new to write things like that, but I agree wholeheartedly.

I don't mind people bringing morality into the public discourse, even when I disagree with it. But I do have a problem with those very same people (read: Newt kissing Dobson's ass) trying to turn around and tell people through law to "do as I say, not as I do."

Even Mike Huckabee talked about it. He's one of the darling conservatives, meaning he's got no chance to win the nomination but he's the one that *many* conservatives would want in office. He said that if conservatives don't denounce the likes of Newt, McCain, and Guiliani being at the head of the polls now, then they owe the Clinton family one heck of an apology. That witchhunt for Clinton didn't come from his lying under oath, which was wrong. It came based on sex, and infidelity -- yet right now our three Repub frontrunners are adulterers. Bless Huckabee for saying that, because it's true -- you can't have it both ways.

Some Christians I know have told me that having been an adulterer, Newt has ever right to speak out against what he perceives to be immorality because he has experienced the ill effects firsthand. To me, that's excuse making. If you **** another woman while you're married, you have no right to talk to me about morality in any sense.

I'm rambling, but that post brought up lots in my head and I loved it, so thanks for posting it.

[GenuineRisk]

Originally Posted by Bababooyee

I guess when Repubs do it, it is bad.

But when Dems do it, it is kewl!?!?

Schaudenfreude, indeed!

I think it is not kewl, regardless. I just learned "kewl"...it was kewl, but I am already getting bored with it.

B, I'm a thinkin' here, in your fascination with five-year-old slang, you kinda misssed my point, which is that the Republicans in power need to stop being the sex police since they clearly like getting it as much as the rest of us do. I'm trying to help your party here, and all you're doing is trying to say the Dems do the same thing, when in fact, where legislating sex is concerned, they don't. Write your party reps a letter, already, and tell them to knock it off, for their own good! Believe me, much as I enjoy the Foleys and Haggards and now the Dep Sec'y of State, I'd rather see kids getting proper sex-ed instead.

[brianwspencer]

Originally Posted by Bababooyee

Is the problem legislating morality in general or legislating sexual morality only? If the former, your party has just as many problems. If the later, you still need to demonstrate why legislating morality in one realm is ok but not in another. And "Because people do it anyway," is not a good reason...as we can use that reason to knock down just about every criminal law and a plethora of other things.

And, FWIW, the Repubs are not my party, thank you very much. As far as I am concerned, the Repubs get all the "bad press" they deserve.

In my opinion, some morality needs to be legislated, like the fancy notion that killing other people is wrong. However, I believe what GR is saying (or at least what I glean, and what I think) is that those people legislating that are not running around killing people and then turning around and telling you not to.

This whole crusade to legislate "sexual morality" is folly to begin with because all it does is lead to under-education which is dangerous for kids. My parents taught me about sex and condoms by the time I was twelve because they thought that educated people make smarter, safer decisions. Instead of pretending that by giving real, potentially life-saving education to kids we will encourage a bunch of promiscuous eighth graders, maybe we should be looking at the fact that education saves lives and abstinence-only education doesn't work at all.

So when these very same very married people who want to make it mandatory that the only sex education we provide for kids is "don't do it" and the only advice we have for them regarding sex is "don't do it," but are then cavorting around getting "massages" from "Central Americans," (translation: non-commital way of saying you cheated on your wife by ****ing another woman, a non-American one at that!) we have a little bit of a problem. Immoral people who spend their whole lives telling others how to live "morally" don't deserve to be part of the decision-making process for anything that involves morality, aka, lay off the icky-sex-is-bad-and-I-would-know-because-I-am-the-world's-fourth-most-moral-person-according-to-the-latest-polls stuff and then nobody's feathers get ruffled when you get caught paying for blowjobs from hookers.

[Downthestretch55]

Question: On the "morality meter", which is worse...telling a LIE that causes others to be murdered or committing ADULTARY that leaves the participants smiling?

Follow up question: Anyone know when the "war crimes" trials will begin?