I need more love advice

[letswastemoney]

I have a girlfriend now. I'm 25 and she is 21. But she's very indecisive and flaky about a lot of things.

Like one day she'll really really like me, and the next day she's completely cold and turns away my hand when I try to hold her or something.

Then the next day she complains that I don't hold her enough. So that's the nature of her personality, I really don't know what to expect tomorrow anymore.

But anyways, she doesn't want to spend Valentine's Day with me. I think that will hurt me. She says she doesn't want to be tied down and be a cliche couple.

She says that she might go to a club by herself lol. We've been a couple for about a month anyway. I don't know.

Would you be hurt if your girlfriend didn't want to spend Valentine's Day with you?

[declansharbor]

Originally Posted by letswastemoney

I have a girlfriend now. I'm 25 and she is 21. But she's very indecisive and flaky about a lot of things.

Like one day she'll really really like me, and the next day she's completely cold and turns away my hand when I try to hold her or something.

Then the next day she complains that I don't hold her enough. So that's the nature of her personality, I really don't know what to expect tomorrow anymore.

But anyways, she doesn't want to spend Valentine's Day with me. I think that will hurt me. She says she doesn't want to be tied down and be a cliche couple.

She says that she might go to a club by herself lol. We've been a couple for about a month anyway. I don't know.

Would you be hurt if your girlfriend didn't want to spend Valentine's Day with you?

Relieved would be a more fitting word. Just kidding.

It sounds like you're in for it though. It sounds to me, to be quite a rollercoaster already. LAY DOWN the LAW.

[GBBob]

Originally Posted by letswastemoney

I have a girlfriend now. I'm 25 and she is 21. But she's very indecisive and flaky about a lot of things.

Like one day she'll really really like me, and the next day she's completely cold and turns away my hand when I try to hold her or something.

Then the next day she complains that I don't hold her enough. So that's the nature of her personality, I really don't know what to expect tomorrow anymore.

But anyways, she doesn't want to spend Valentine's Day with me. I think that will hurt me. She says she doesn't want to be tied down and be a cliche couple.

She says that she might go to a club by herself lol. We've been a couple for about a month anyway. I don't know.

Would you be hurt if your girlfriend didn't want to spend Valentine's Day with you?

Sorry my friend...I don't think her wanting to go to a club "by herself" on Valentine's Day is either a good sign or something you should accept. It's one thing not being a cliche couple, but another to hurt the feelings of your partner.

[brianwspencer]

Originally Posted by GBBob

Sorry my friend...I don't think her wanting to go to a club "by herself" on Valentine's Day is either a good sign or something you should accept. It's one thing not being a cliche couple, but another to hurt the feelings of your partner.

Well I am not allowed to celebrate Valentine's Day this year either.

While I agree that it's a meaningless, stupid holiday, I also think St. Patty's day is a meaningless, stupid holiday but that doesn't keep me from getting piss drunk that day either.

[Danzig]

Originally Posted by letswastemoney

I have a girlfriend now. I'm 25 and she is 21. But she's very indecisive and flaky about a lot of things.

Like one day she'll really really like me, and the next day she's completely cold and turns away my hand when I try to hold her or something.

Then the next day she complains that I don't hold her enough. So that's the nature of her personality, I really don't know what to expect tomorrow anymore.

But anyways, she doesn't want to spend Valentine's Day with me. I think that will hurt me. She says she doesn't want to be tied down and be a cliche couple.

She says that she might go to a club by herself lol. We've been a couple for about a month anyway. I don't know.

Would you be hurt if your girlfriend didn't want to spend Valentine's Day with you?

sounds like she's acting her age. if you want someone to act mature, go find a mature person. actually, sounds like she wants a boyfried without all that goes with it. i suggest you dump her. next time, find someone who is what you want, not someone who isn't what you want, but you're going to try to make them BE what you want-not fair to her, and won't work anyway.

[letswastemoney]

She has broken up with me twice already and wanted me back a day or two later each time....

I almost think I'm doing this because I'm afraid of being alone.

When I describe her to people, my friends tell me she sounds psychotic almost.

I don't think I can ever be just her friend, because it would hurt too much for me to know she's with other guys, and each time she broke up with me she'd get really upset at my all or nothing philosophy. A part of me thinks she's just afraid of losing the friendship part and that's maybe why she came back twice.

So..yeah..I see no light at the end of this tunnel. Maybe I do have to cut her off for real now.

[2 Dollar Bill]

Please DONT take that advise..."" Ohhh.. they will change after marriage ""

[brianwspencer]

Originally Posted by letswastemoney

She has broken up with me twice already and wanted me back a day or two later each time....

I almost think I'm doing this because I'm afraid of being alone.

When I describe her to people, my friends tell me she sounds psychotic almost.

I don't think I can ever be just her friend, because it would hurt too much for me to know she's with other guys, and each time she broke up with me she'd get really upset at my all or nothing philosophy. A part of me thinks she's just afraid of losing the friendship part and that's maybe why she came back twice.

So..yeah..I see no light at the end of this tunnel. Maybe I do have to cut her off for real now.

In a month? Ok, I change my mind completely. I'm with Zig -- dump her. You can't get dumped once every 12 days...things don't usually end well that way.

[TheSpyder]

Two options:

1. Get her pregnant
2. Seriously, break up with her and play hard to get if she wants to get back together. She wants her cake and eat it too meaning she likes you but is afraid of commitment. She is also afraid of rejection. The only thing you can do is let her learn commitment is better than rejection.

If she comes running back, be very slow to let her back establishing your rules. If she doesn't, she was not worth it to begin with. As someone said, she's immature. Maybe she will grow up, most likely not.

Pleantly of fish in the sea.

Also, being married 25 years, I'd give my left nut to dump my wife on V Day and go clubbing!

Spyder

[letswastemoney]

Originally Posted by TheSpyder

Two options:

1. Get her pregnant
2. Seriously, break up with her and play hard to get if she wants to get back together. She wants her cake and eat it too meaning she likes you but is afraid of commitment. She is also afraid of rejection. The only thing you can do is let her learn commitment is better than rejection.

If she comes running back, be very slow to let her back establishing your rules. If she doesn't, she was not worth it to begin with. As someone said, she's immature. Maybe she will grow up, most likely not.

Pleantly of fish in the sea.

Also, being married 25 years, I'd give my left nut to dump my wife on V Day and go clubbing!

Spyder

That sounds good.

Yeah, whenever she breaks up with me and wants me back, she goes on and on about "being afraid that I could be her husband"

and I never even mention that sort of thing!!

I'm a lot nicer than most guys, so maybe just by virtue of my nice guy personality she automatically assumes I'm going to ask her to marry her.

[Danzig]

Originally Posted by letswastemoney

That sounds good.

Yeah, whenever she breaks up with me and wants me back, she goes on and on about "being afraid that I could be her husband"

and I never even mention that sort of thing!!

I'm a lot nicer than most guys, so maybe just by virtue of my nice guy personality she automatically assumes I'm going to ask her to marry her.

for gods' sake, don't propose!

seriously tho, alone doesn't = lonely. take a deep breath, dump her and mean it, don't call her back and don't accept her calls. and yeah, it might hurt for a bit but you will get over it. temporary discomfort now is worth not playing any more games for however long.

[Danzig]

Originally Posted by TheSpyder

Two options:

1. Get her pregnant
2. Seriously, break up with her and play hard to get if she wants to get back together. She wants her cake and eat it too meaning she likes you but is afraid of commitment. She is also afraid of rejection. The only thing you can do is let her learn commitment is better than rejection.

If she comes running back, be very slow to let her back establishing your rules. If she doesn't, she was not worth it to begin with. As someone said, she's immature. Maybe she will grow up, most likely not.

Pleantly of fish in the sea.

Also, being married 25 years, I'd give my left nut to dump my wife on V Day and go clubbing!

Spyder

tony and i will be married 23 years. to be honest, i never got the big deal about valentines day-if you're husband/wife is a jerk 364 days out of the year, but comes thru on V day, who cares?!

[Bigsmc]

Run away.....fast.

[SCUDSBROTHER]

Originally Posted by letswastemoney

I have a girlfriend now. I'm 25 and she is 21. But she's very indecisive and flaky about a lot of things.

Like one day she'll really really like me, and the next day she's completely cold and turns away my hand when I try to hold her or something.

Then the next day she complains that I don't hold her enough. So that's the nature of her personality, I really don't know what to expect tomorrow anymore.

I don't think you want to be told to leave her. If you could do that, then you would of done that. You want to know how to stop liking her, or get her to like you enough to spend Valentine's Day with you etc. etc. You make it seem like you could leave the situation. I don't believe that, but if that's true, then do it (leave yesterday.) Don't say you'll put up with her being with someone else on Valentines Day. She wants you to get upset with that. She's looking for that strength from you. She wants you to tell her no. Tell her it's over (if she doesn't spend it with you.) Keep doing that. Keep getting mad at her(and she with you,) and making up with her. That's what she feels comfortable with. That's her normal, or what she likes. Argue, make-up, and afterglow...repeat, repeat, repeat. You like her. So, that's how to get her to keep liking you. She ain't right(but you know that.) Like I said, leave the situation (if you can.) If you're stuck on her, then do what I said. Don't be nice all the time(that's boring to her.) When she comes back(after the arguing) then be nice. Let her make the 1st move on the making up. She's done this before with you. It's what she likes.

[Bigsmc]

Originally Posted by SCUDSBROTHER

I don't think you want to be told to leave her. If you could do that, then you would of done that. You want to know how to stop liking her, or get her to like you enough to spend Valentine's Day with you etc. etc. You make it seem like you could leave the situation. I don't believe that, but if that's true, then do it (leave yesterday.) Don't say you'll put up with her being with someone else on Valentines Day. She wants you to get upset with that. She's looking for that strength from you. She wants you to tell her no. Tell her it's over (if she doesn't spend it with you.) Keep doing that. Keep getting mad at her(and she with you,) and making up with her. That's what she feels comfortable with. That's her normal, or what she likes. Argue, make-up, and afterglow...repeat, repeat, repeat. You like her. So, that's how to get her to keep liking you. She ain't right(but you know that.) Like I said, leave the situation (if you can.) If you're stuck on her, then do what I said. Don't be nice all the time(that's boring to her.) When she comes back(after the arguing) then be nice. Let her make the 1st move on the making up. She's done this before with you. It's what she likes.

Scuds, I didn't know you had it in you. The nail has been struck, right on the head.

[letswastemoney]

I let go.

That was painful. I think I had to though.

[doll0608]

Originally Posted by letswastemoney

I let go.

That was painful. I think I had to though.

stick to your decision, in the end it will be for the best.

[Scav]

Originally Posted by doll0608

stick to your decision, in the end it will be for the best.

[SCUDSBROTHER]

Originally Posted by letswastemoney

I let go.

That was painful. I think I had to though.

That's good. Try to find one that grew up in a situation similar to your own(no more Foster-kid types.)