My trip to he Derby

[AeWingnut]

l checked into a hotel on my trip to the Derby and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique; a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up. You know the kind. So I'm in my room and figure, what the heck, I'll give her a call.

"Hello?" the woman says. Wow! she sounded sexy.

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream; anything you want, baby. Now, how does that sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."



yeah I know.. everyone loves the old cut n paste

[AeWingnut]

A teacher asks her class,
''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how
many will be left?''
She calls on little Johnny. ''None, they all fly away with the first
gunshot.''
The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.''
Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU.
There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream.
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?''
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's
gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''
''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your
thinking.''