Celeb Matches

Downthestretch55 · #1 11-10-2006, 12:55 PM

Well, now that Brittany (OOps! I did it again) and KFed have gone their seperate ways, and Sir Paul and the lovely Heather M are splitsville, I think they should just swap 'em. Yup, Mz Speares and Sir Paul (if he's willing to move off the estate and to the La trailer park) and KFed with Heather M, causes the ex-Mrs McCarney will be getting a nice settlement and it seems that Mr Fed, if he hitches to her wagon, won't have to bother the next Mrs Sir Paul (Britt) for support. Perhaps his musical "career" will go better for him if he transplants across the pond, as it doesn't seem to be catching fire here in the states.

Now, another match that seems to be "right"...
Markie-boy Foley and Kenny ("God guy") Haggert. Seems like a natural.
Since they met on the mountain trail outside of Boulder (rumor has it),
when Markie-boy was leading a hike for reunited pages, and Kenny (I buy meth but throw it away) was leading a "youth group" of up-and-comers, and they traded eyelid flutters...well, this might happen...especially after they met up with that nasty grizzly bear, Hastert, and tossed him off the cliff.
Kenny to the rescue.

After the hike, a beautiful "picnic" was provided by Ms Britt for the lucky survivors. KFed wasn't invited and Sir Paul couldn't make it. They missed out on some tastey pork jowls and craw dads.
Pass, the gumbo.

More matches tomorrow.

Downthestretch55 · #2 11-11-2006, 03:50 PM

What a day! What a headache!
Don't know why my head was throbbing, but since I don't use medications, I figured I'd walk on over to the pharmacy and buy some Bayer aspirin.
I picked some up and was walking toward the counter, and who should be standing there, arm in arm, waiting to get their counterfeit prescriptions filled?
Take a minute and guess... go ahead.
If you guessed Courney Love and Rush Limbaugh, you might win the "pill bottle award".
Do I know what will come from this coupling?
Of course not.
From the dazed look in their eyes, they're either deeply smitten or coming down quickly before the "shakes" set in.
Anyway, best of luck to these drug-birds, oops, love birds.

btw...my headache is much better...two bayers did the trick.

Oh, speaking of tricks...does anyone know who the lovely dish seen on Rich Cheney's arm is? Did you see them at the deli too? How could they eat that much balogna?

Pass the cold cuts

Downthestretch55 · #3 11-11-2006, 04:19 PM

Just got back from the grocery store.
Didn't know I'd find this bit of juicy gossip near the instant potatoes. Right next to the Uncle Ben's converted rice (hey...don't ask me, I didn't know what religion they were before).
Anyway, I had just put the Pillsbury doughboy into the bottom of the cart, right next to Hungry Jack (gosh, they looked good together), and who should come strolling down the aisle, filling their cart with mashed potatoes, gravy!!! Whooooo!
If you guessed Little Richard, you are correct....
and his current love interest???
You won't believe it!
Condaleeza Rice! (Hey, I gave you a clue above).
Yup! Right there between the oatmeal and the Italian breadcrumbs.

Well, I left them to their shopping while I did mine.
We met up again at the "check-out". They were in front of me.
And who do you think comes behind me?
You'll never guess.
Picture a shopping cart filled with beef. Right! Big red meat! A couple of bags of pork rinds. That's it.
If you guessed Mike Tyson and his current babe, Starr Jones....DING! DING!
Maybe you get a rib-eye. How did Starr get that purple one? OWWWCH!
Anger management might be in the works.

More tomorrow. I'll be tailing Mel Gibson and let you know what I find out.

pass the roasted beef

Downthestretch55 · #4 11-11-2006, 05:14 PM

Lucky day!!!
More juicey!

I swung by "Lenny's famous Bar an' Grill" for a cold one and who do I see sitting at the bar, crying in each other's beer.
Unbelievable...I couldn't make this up.
(well, actually I do)

Anyway, there at the bar, crying alligator tears into their bud draughts are none other than Katherine (hanging chad) Harris, and John (put my foot in my mouth again) Kerry. Kissin' and making up like there's no tomorrow. My guess is that there isn't.

Pass the beer nuts.

Downthestretch55 · #5 11-12-2006, 10:28 AM

Went to the bagel shop for my morning carbs and who should I spy?
Mel (I own Malibu) Gibson with his new love interest, Madeline Albright.
Looks like this match will have lots of "passion".

Pass the lox.

Downthestretch55 · #6 11-12-2006, 01:03 PM

With all this talk about "draining the swamp", I decided to take a walk to have a look for myself. What do I discover but a little green guy named Kermit, totally despondent about the prospect of losing his home. At least Joda was there trying to console him.
Well, Kermie and I got talkin' about blondes we've been around and he told me the tale of where his departed "love interest" had fled to.
Seems she went to Florida and has recently been seen with a guy that's had a "thing" for blondes for a while. He asked me if I remembered what happened to the beautiful Nicole. Then the tears welled up in the little green guy's eyes. Very sad.
They've been spotted sipping mamosas from the same glass at a posh golf course near Miami. His hand even seemed to be probing beneath her designer gown. Oh my!
If you haven't figured by now, I'll pass this on...
Yup! OJ Simpson and Miss Piggy.
It's looking like this "glove" will fit and there won't be an acquit.
Be careful Miss P! This guy could be dangerous.

pass the orange juice.