Handicapping 101

[Mortimer]

Some day you will learn how foolish it is to type away without using ThoughtCheck.





Until then--- better renew that Mike Warren subscription.

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by MISTERGEE

ive got the melody down storm cat, but the words are mostly expletives

That works.

Are you done yet, or shall we wait for next years birthday?

[Late Fires]

Originally Posted by Meridian_Artisan

Some day you will learn how foolish it is to type away without using ThoughtCheck.





Until then--- better renew that Mike Warren subscription.

M/A,

H/B

Hope your 34th is as wildly successful as your first 33.

L/F

[Mortimer]

Hello L/F;




You know it.


Some things just are.




As a matter of fact----I was just thinking to myself that very thought.

















"You know,Prime Time, you have been an incredible success in life. Amassing wealth ,breaking hearts and kicking serious azz to boot ( More of that patented Dullest humor there). You really have set yourself up for failure over the ensuing years. Your first 34 are almost impossible to top."






My first take on this was------looks like I'm right again.



But if there is one thing a Dullest can do----it's topping ones self.




So as much as I appreciate your wish ,LF--------thanks,but no thanks. Don't need it. It's in the stars for select wonders such as myself.













Hey---hope you got a taste today.



I notice most of the other dart throwers went hungry---but that's just the way it is for the masses.Sometimes I almost feel bad for you little people.









You keep punching.







If only because----you never know.












Hickory Dickory Dock sure never will.













Best regards,

Bill Dullest











( I'm considering throwing out a Prime Time Bone to the dregs here for tomorrow---keep checking back.)

[Rileyoriley]

Mr. Artisan
I have read your handicapping thread. Very informative sir. I now know never to bet the speedy gray horse named Carly especially if the handicappers have picked it and it's trained by a fool. I head to the local OTB well-armed. Bless you.

[Mortimer]

Now there's a girl who knows what's what.

Always a pleasure to help the blind begin to see.










DULLEST NET RESULTS FOR 2-16-08:



$12,365.00



That's a little on the south side for Prime Time-----but no biggie.


I'll take it.





Dullest made up for it with 25 large won in poker this afternoon.












Stay with it O'Riley.


There is hope with the Dull One leading your way .

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

Prime Time,

first and foremost congrats on the scores yesterday. I was wondering if you had any advice on poker? Mom's going away for a week and I plan on leaving the basement and having a poker party and I really want to cheat, errr I mean beat my friends at the game. Any tips you can share?

Thanks in advance

Hello Ha Doss;




Thank you---the ability to recognize excellence in handicapping is rare.




I admire your deceptive nature and would be happy to give you some poker basics.







Now here's one that has always worked well for me. If no one calls it----well then when you deal play low hole.Now Dullest doesn't feed cards to himself nor anyone else nor does he come armed with "spare" cards.What he will do is manipulate his own hand.


Let's say you have just dealt yourself the third and last down card with the 4 up cards.---and that you have 2 3's and 2 10's up ----- and not much else down with a duece as your low hole. There are 3 others still in the hand who are not afraid of what has to be at least a full boat.

So what you do first is create a"distraction".Hopefully a woman is still playing because they make excellent marks. Point at her quickly and shreik----"HEY!! Did you just switch an up card and a down card!!!?"



While everyone looks at her......you switch your down duece for an up 3.


Now you have 4 tens.



And you have the mark in tears sobbing in denial to the point she drops out....and probably with the winning hand,too.

So now you only have two players left and your hand strength just went up.



















I love poker.




Best regards,

Wild Bill Dullest

[Mortimer]

Happy to oblige.







!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





























A PRIME TIME BONE WILL NOW APPEAR

































Looks like your lucky day,my friend.










Rises The Phoenix in the Big A's 5th today.

[CapperZeke]

Originally Posted by Meridian_Artisan

Happy to oblige.







!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





























A PRIME TIME BONE WILL NOW APPEAR

































Looks like your lucky day,my friend.










Rises The Phoenix in the Big A's 5th today.

Dear Mr. Dull,


I owe you big time. I put $589 to win On Rises The Phoenix.


Your amazing.



CZ

[Mortimer]

Always happy to be of monumental help to the handicapped----I mean handicapper,Zeke.

Perhaps Bill can toss out another.


Stand by.

[Mortimer]

Let's sprinkle some Dullest Dust on Gulfstreams 5th today,Zeke.




HOLY LAND.

[Mortimer]

Prime Time will leave after the 5th race at GF.




His value is wasted on you people.

[Mortimer]

Prime Time hopes you all had a taste of Dullest Dust.




God knows I've had enough of most of you.

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by cmfhb411

The race went off at 3:12 pm EST.
M Artisan edited his pick at 3:29.
This guy has the best methodology of all.
Wooohoooooooo !!!!!

Hello you big fat moo cow;








WHOA there Cattle mf'er!





Never accuse William R. Dullest of loading dice.




Never.





Dullest would not have thought some of you people would stoop so low as to lie like this.


I think everyone realizes a man of my high esteem cannot look foolish so I come back from time to time to check my fine work as I'm a real stickler for spelling and the only edit I did was to correct a spelling error.



Prime Time justs KNOWS Zeke will stand up for me on this one.




And YOU are nothing more than a message board hack....sir.




Walk the dog...I mean Best regards,
Bill Dullest

[Cajungator26]

Originally Posted by Meridian_Artisan

Let's sprinkle some Dullest Dust on Gulfstreams 5th today,Zeke.




HOLY LAND.

Chalkeater. You should have posted the the winner of the 9th after it was run. At least she paid more.

[Mortimer]

Hello MadeInDecatur;




Great to see you hoisting the hem...I mean posting again.








What can I say except to keep hacking away.























You're bound to get somewhere.





















Someday.





























Somehow.

























Oh let's get real.


































You're a lost cause lady.





Bets retards...I mean Best regards,

Bill Dulllest

[Cajungator26]

O Dildo Mullets, I mean Bill Dullest, please accept my sincere apology.

Might I tell you who the winner of the Southwest will be? Denis of Cork. You heard it here first, of course.

You're no Boobie Fisher.

[CapperZeke]

Originally Posted by Meridian_Artisan

Let's sprinkle some Dullest Dust on Gulfstreams 5th today,Zeke.




HOLY LAND.

Dear William,


I cashed again on your selection.



Your web seminar last night was very informative.



Thanks to your selections I'm purchasing my first BMW today.



It's slightly used but it's still a BMW.



I can't wait for your next selection.


Anything today at Tampa??



CZ

[Mortimer]

Hello Ezekial;



Always great seeing you toasting the pen....I mean posting again. No problem my friend----glad you took advantage of that Dullest Dust.

I had a a feeling those questions submitted by "CZ" were by you.
I'm still trying to figure out those mindless querries submitted by---what was the name? BLT I think it was.



Oh well.





Big kudos to you on the Beemer. It's a cute car.



Give me sometime on todays Dust and PT Bones.









Best regards,

Bill Dullest