Snowy Woods

[Mortimer]

I light the light of mystic candles.....and smolder NamRunDooDah incense.


I drink water mixed with Sedona cactus juice to become a stranger in a strange land.

Soon I will sniff the burning embers of 3 day old cedar.......and become a spinny top.



I love that.

[Mortimer]

And so...I now must hallucinate as I rhyme frequencies with old tribal wise men.

Those who hallucinate in the day---are dangerous ....as they make their hallucinations into funny cartoons.



I see Dimmy and HoseGarden.








ror!!!










I must stop this and get serious.

I need some time to go into this deep ,drug induced trance and say many smart things.






So go away and come back later.

[Mortimer]

Stopping by Threads on a NerdyTrail Evening



Whose thread this is I think I know,
His head is in my noodle though,
He will not see me typing here,
To watch his thread;switching to with fro.

My little pud must think it queer,
To stop without a farm girl near,
Here--- in this forest made of what I take,
As I last out yet another year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
I knew that outfit was a mistake.
The only other sounds are of his painful weeps,
Those heavy bells ..his will; will surely break.

The woods are lovely, in the night...when it's dark...and deep,
But I have coyotes to meep-meep,
And trials to try...so I may make my keep,
And trials to try...so I may make my keep

-- MortimerDexterFoxworthy

[Mortimer]

A Meeting in Snowy Woods


Oh Santa my Santa...won't you do for me
A girly horse whose heart's as big as mine
I like the deer..but don't you see
They jingle--I neigh..we just don't seem to rhyme


I only hope when I awake..my mate for me is here
A beautiful girl horse.... always to me near
I miss my kind....surely you can follow
And now I sleep..thinking of tomorrow


Oh Santa my Santa..you heard me only half way
The morn has brought more bells..but they can help the sleigh
I should not have been so selfish..I know my place here
I will do as you do wish.....and simply leave my fear

But what?...I count the bells in eights!
And now I look....a picture book! That is no reindeer!
There she is..neath the snow shaped nook..And what is that I hear!?
My name is EightBelles,Billy..Oh Santa my Santa sent me..you no longer have to wait!

EightBelles!! ..I am so happy! Your legs are oh so pretty!!
Let me hold and plant on you ..kissy-kissy-kissy!!
DowntownDollarBilly...you stop being so silly
I have always loved you ..but the road to you was hilly


But now we are together;two hearts so big and strong
I will help all with all the toys...the trip won't seem as long
And I will help you EightBelles;for you deserve it most
Oh Santa my Santa..thank you for this gift;EightBelles and me..this deserves a toat!




--Author Unknown

Infinite Pies

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

Oooooooooo

And snowy pies for you as well...too kind.

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by Coach Pants

Infinite Pies

My blizzard is your blizzard.

Too,too kind.

[Mortimer]

Here's a pleasant one by Wallace Stevens.




Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird

I

Among twenty snowy mountains,
The only moving thing
Was the eye of the blackbird.

II

I was of three minds,
Like a tree
In which there are three blackbirds.

III

The blackbird whirled in the autumn winds.
It was a small part of the pantomime.

IV

A man and a woman
Are one.
A man and a woman and a blackbird
Are one.

V

I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendoes,
The blackbird whistling
Or just after.

VI

Icicles filled the long window
With barbaric glass.
The shadow of the blackbird
Crossed it, to and fro.
The mood
Traced in the shadow
An indecipherable cause.

VII

O thin men of Haddam,
Why do you imagine golden birds?
Do you not see how the blackbird
Walks around the feet
Of the women about you?

VIII

I know noble accents
And lucid, inescapable rhythms;
But I know, too,
That the blackbird is involved
In what I know.

IX

When the blackbird flew out of sight,
It marked the edge
Of one of many circles.

X

At the sight of blackbirds
Flying in a green light,
Even the bawds of euphony
Would cry out sharply.

XI

He rode over Connecticut
In a glass coach.
Once, a fear pierced him,
In that he mistook
The shadow of his equipage
For blackbirds.

XII

The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying.

XIII

It was evening all afternoon.
It was snowing
And it was going to snow.
The blackbird sat
In the cedar-limbs.


What the fucl< was he talking about!!?

[Mortimer]

This is a short conversation John Gotti had with hs daugther,Vicky, regarding her fat husband.

It's easier to follow than Wallace's work....and funnier.


I believe it has its place in the Woods of Snow:

******




"He's an imbecile. And you gotta see the charges," said Gotti, pretending to read from Agnello's rap sheet. "Malicious mopery. Possession of brains with intent to use. Malicious mopery. Malicious mopery. Stolen bumper. Hubcab."

At another point, he asked Victoria: "So what's the story with Carmine?"

"What do you mean, what's the story with him?" she asked.

"Is he feeling good? Is he not feeling good? Is his medication increased? Decreased? Is it up? Down? Does he get in the backseat of the car and think someone has stolen the steering wheel?"

[Mortimer]

Here's a really good one to close the night...the dark. ..Song For Our Ancestors. The video portion sucks,but it's the only version I could find.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5H374L4MgI

[Mortimer]

Well now the reason it sucks is the video portion started out well......but then suddenly failed to do so. I thought the guy was going in a great direction.....and fizzled.

I wish there was a good version of SweetJane I could find on the i-net...the time is right.

[Mortimer]

This is your Cleveland Midnight Man--Mortimer...sitting high atop the Society Tower about 900 feet above the street.....people looking like ants.


Oh...make that 9 feet.

Those are ants!







Anyhooo...as I look at over Lake Erie and watch moonbeams splatter over the water in a wretched display of narcistic irony.....I sign off with this song. I doubt any of you knew the connection of the Titanic to Jack Johnson.

You will now...listen to this legendary tune:




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X0bNi1PtpA

[Mortimer]

Oh jump on in!!...the snow's great!!

[Mortimer]

Thebby...I wish my name be changed to Mortimer.

[Mortimer]

Don't keep me waiting,Thebby...you know I don't like that.








Let's have a listen to my favorite happy song!!!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7BmrewitiA

[Mortimer]

All right...let's get serious here.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XT54T42ldec

[Mortimer]

This will have to hold you until my second interview with Christina Rossetti airs later.

This is early ABB...with DA.

You can't hear the words...but that's OK with this song.

I'm submitting it to be played at the Kentucky Derby instead of the dredful tune they play now. It will be called My Old Funky Home.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQsAxHk54x4



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQsAxHk54x4


I made 2 links in case someone is with you and they would like to hear it as well.

[Mortimer]

Welcome SportyFans!

We have a real treat for you today on my fine program broadcast live from SnowyWoods.Let's welcome back Christina Rossetti.

Christina...great having you a second time.


Thank you ,Mortimer....and may I say you are still one hot dude?

Oh Christina now you stop that...do you really think s...I mean first I want to apologize to you for the last time you were here. I should have realized you were dead,but did not. It wasn't until we were half way through that I did...and you did confirm it....and at that point I got scared and ran off the stage. I am sorry.



Well that was a bit embarrassing,Mortimer, but I got over it.It's OK.....I can always forgive a handsome man.


ror!!...come on now....don't do that. May I say for someone dead you look absolutely MAAAAAHV-LUS!!! You rrrealy do!!



Oh thank you,Dahling. As a ghost I have to work very hard to look this good.Kiss-Kiss.



You're such a ham sandwich,Christina. So......I wanted to comment on your fine collection of poims What really hits me is how you write about such beauty...yet there is a trace of....well I don't want to say coldness......but maybe an irony to slighty off balance the work you do so.................

















....uh...........wait a minnute.






Did you say....ghost?? Are you tellin' me......are YOU tellin' ME...that you are a ....ghost?
















Why...yes.

I am.



































MOMMY!!!






GET ME OUTTA HERE!!

[Mortimer]

I am withdrawing my membership from the Dead Poets Society.


I'm done with them.

Only live poets from now on...no dead....no ghosts.



That's it.

[Mortimer]

Oh my God!!

Talk about a frightening coincidence!


A ghost hunter friend of mine and I have been trying to find what we were told was the most authentic and absolutely mind numbing film ever taken of real ghosts.


I am NOT kidding. If this kind of thing bothers you....DO NOT WATCH IT.




This will make you doubt everything you have ever learned about life.

These were just some kids putzing around....they had no friggin' idea what they caught on film,but follow their instructions and see for yourself:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd79i...eature=related