Hemorrhoid Help?

[randallscott35]

So I took my moose of a 2.5 year old on a hike with one of those backpack things above my head that attaches on the back and the waist. Felt like Wise Dan with the weight and obviously ended up with the intestines poking on through. This was last Sunday. Easily the worst case I've ever had...My question for those who have had them, what helped the most. I'm doing Prep H and to me it does very little. Thanks...and I've already been avoiding things like coffee that might make me go more often.

[Rileyoriley]

Oh Clyde????? You're needed here.

[Sightseek]

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

Oh Clyde????? You're needed here.

Let me begin for him....


OH MY GAWD!!!!





















THUD!

[herkhorse]

Either Clyde or Ann Landers

[randallscott35]

This is one of the most common problem in the world, cmon now...I am serious.

[keithting]

Put Epsom salt in a warm bath--- this will help reduce swelling

Drink plenty of water & fiber, fiber, fiber (eat your spinach) !!!

Getting Old sure ain't for Sissies.....

[Rileyoriley]

A message from Dr. Clyde:


Friends....are you terrorized by Moose Hemorrhoids?

Well, I am proud to announce that NA's Dave Schwontz can help. Not with his LOW Software, but with a new personal product line.


If you have been cursed with this malady, you probabl;y have a hard time pronouncing your vowels.



Oh boy.

I meant....moving your bowels.The evacuant probably come out as skinny snakes.Mr. Schwontz has perfected a brand new snake oil for this anal problem.




Buy it now exclusively from Alex Jones, the only authorized distributor.

[geeker2]

Get yourself a de-clawed gerbil.......

[TheSpyder]

Hot Firey Wings. Rub them on your....oh I give up

[bigrun]

Try this cure..







Is this you?






Try this med..Like their ad, don't sit on the problem..

[casp0555]

Hemorrhoid information contаined herein is intended solely for educаtionаl purpоses. The information contained on this hemorrhoid website is not intended nor implied tо be a substitute for professionаl medical advice. Always seek thе аdvice оf a physiсian regarding your hemorrhoid condition. The accuracy, сompleteness or
corrеctnеss, timeliness, оr usefulness of any information contаined herein is not warranted. In no event will we be liablе to yоu or anyone else for аny decisiоn made or action takеn by yоu or anyone else in reliаnce upоn the information рrovided. You will hоld us harmless for liability from any such aсtions or dеcisions tаken by you
in reliance upon such infоrmatiоn.

http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/image...oidremoval.jpg

[bigrun]

Originally Posted by casp0555

Hemorrhoid information contаined herein is intended solely for educаtionаl purpоses. The information contained on this hemorrhoid website is not intended nor implied tо be a substitute for professionаl medical advice. Always seek thе аdvice оf a physiсian regarding your hemorrhoid condition. The accuracy, сompleteness or
corrеctnеss, timeliness, оr usefulness of any information contаined herein is not warranted. In no event will we be liablе to yоu or anyone else for аny decisiоn made or action takеn by yоu or anyone else in reliаnce upоn the information рrovided. You will hоld us harmless for liability from any such aсtions or dеcisions tаken by you
in reliance upon such infоrmatiоn.

http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/image...oidremoval.jpg

[Rileyoriley]

Another message from Clyde:

Dear friends, do you ever get that strange impulse to announce in a public way....your most not just embarrassing condition, but also a vomit inducing condition?


Stop and think before you tripe.

I mean before you type.

Remember;no one knows you're a doorknob,unless you tell them.

[bigrun]

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

Another message from Clyde:

Dear friends, do you ever get that strange impulse to announce in a public way....your most not just embarrassing condition, but also a vomit inducing condition?


Stop and think before you tripe.

I mean before you type.

Remember;no one knows you're a doorknob,unless you tell them.

More clydes



God help you....really,really.[/quote]



STOP IT!!!


aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by randallscott35

So I took my moose of a 2.5 year old on a hike with one of those backpack things above my head that attaches on the back and the waist. Felt like Wise Dan with the weight and obviously ended up with the intestines poking on through. This was last Sunday. Easily the worst case I've ever had...My question for those who have had them, what helped the most. I'm doing Prep H and to me it does very little. Thanks...and I've already been avoiding things like coffee that might make me go more often.

You should ask Freddy. He's such an ass he'd probably have advice.

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

Remember;no one knows you're a doorknob,unless you tell them.

Hi DoD (not the Dept. of Defense)... mind if I say something to Mortimer?

Morty first off that's a swell line and yes I did actually use the word swell. (That word always reminds me of the David Bowie song, Drive In Saturday).

Second... what's all this I hear about you being finished with the contest?

You mean you're not gonna just play it a second time?

Think about it or I shall be forced to use that word (no not that one you doorknob... riiiiiiight, thaaaat one) repeatedly till your head sweels and explodes and all the little Hersheys kisses come flying out of it and...

Oh be quiet and go stand in the corner.

Hope you feel bettah, Randall.

[AeWingnut]

Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.

[ninetoone]

Waxvac.

[Rileyoriley]

Hi DoD (not the Dept. of Defense)... mind if I say something to Mortimer?

Morty first off that's a swell line and yes I did actually use the word swell. (That word always reminds me of the David Bowie song, Drive In Saturday).

Second... what's all this I hear about you being finished with the contest?

You mean you're not gonna just play it a second time?

Think about it or I shall be forced to use that word (no not that one you doorknob... riiiiiiight, thaaaat one) repeatedly till your head sweels and explodes and all the little Hersheys kisses come flying out of it and...

Oh be quiet and go stand in the corner.



A retort from Clyde:



Great news Morty Fans!!



Fucl<age.




Start over.







Great news Sporty Fans!!

The Arachnid recognizes I was using Clydeform in its Beta Testing stage and is giving me a fresh 40.Of course, my winnings from the first 40 do carry over.

Now,you snot faces out there who are going to get irate and send off combustible pm's to the Arachnid in protest------get a life.


And shhhhut up.

The contest is awful without me playing.



I would think that's enough for now.






"If your tag line blows------well get rid of the thing already.Most do."

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by AeWingnut

Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.

Good Lord where have you been? Have missed you!

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

A retort from Clyde:



Great news Morty Fans!!



Fucl<age.




Start over.







Great news Sporty Fans!!

The Arachnid recognizes I was using Clydeform in its Beta Testing stage and is giving me a fresh 40.Of course, my winnings from the first 40 do carry over.

Now,you snot faces out there who are going to get irate and send off combustible pm's to the Arachnid in protest------get a life.


And shhhhut up.

The contest is awful without me playing.



I would think that's enough for now.






"If your tag line blows------well get rid of the thing already.Most do."

Thank you Debodeb for this fine message.

Mortimer I would have called him Aragog (right, debodeb?) but whatevah.

So to be clear you get to have your winnings from your own personal round one carry over?

Splendid.