The ClydeVivor Oaks/Derby SightyPooKins Benefit Contest

[Rileyoriley]

A message from Clyde:

Oh what a merry group of funsters we have going on one big yuk 'em roll today.

Yes;you're all so funny with the CLYDEFORM!! carping and the improperly inflated pies and your "phooies" as well as yer what not.


Well I'll be darned....what a nice segue for a column I wrote in PHOTO SPINACH.







WHY SALICHROME WILL GO DOWN TO DEFEAT ON SATURDAY

by Clyde( creator of CLYDEFORM!!)


Primarily because his Dolphin Floggers deserve it.Yes, even CaliforniaAluminum himself is sick of the teenage blatherings spewing from the mouths of his GayBoy followers.I had an exclusive interview with CA last night.Unfortunately he did not give me permission to print in it's whole, but I can excerpt him.

When asked how he feels about fans like Insecticide(TM),SpecialMethamphetamineMan and the newest Chromester----JihadScientist,CA revealed,"They make me want to projectile vomit.Being a fan is one thing, but trying to impregnate air with a continuous sperm mist is going a little far.I am grossly embarrassed and it must stop."

I asked him how can it be stopped and he said...."I will lose Saturday."

I snarfed.

I told him I snarfed because I think his dupa is getting waxed even if he tries to win.

CA then got a little snotty,but did calm back down long enough to reinforce his statement about losing.You now see there will be no triple crown winner this year and that blame can be placed directly upon the BoysFromBrazil acting out out their night time fantasies over at NoAdvantage.

Yes,that same NoAdvantage allowing Tits to run amok with her canines at the ready and allowing the "gentlemen" there to display their disdain for the "straight life".NA:Where ThaiGuys go to flame out.


My selections for The Preakless:


best value....General A Rod
next best value....Dynamic Impact
next best value....RideOnCulin
exotics play....SocialInclusion
next best exotics play....Strong Mandate
next best exotics play....Hansen
super hi add....Kid Cruz
next best super hi add....Ring Weekend
next best super hi add....Califronia Aluminum


BOL!

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by OldDog

CLYDEFORM sent me this email the other day........

Dear CLYDEFORM Customer,

We wanted to thank you (but we were busy watching reruns of Barney Miller) for your patience as we worked through the CLYDEFORM printing issue that some of you experienced this past week.

Our team has implemented an advanced tool that will ensure that functionality is up and running for as much as 4 hours this busy Triple Crown Season. If functionality lasts longer than 4 hours, call your friends and brag.

Your loyalty and enthusiasm for CLYDEFORM, though misguided, is sincerely appreciated by
everyone here at CFRM.

In addition to the FREE race card we offered last week, which is valid
for any track/date over the next 2 hours, we’d like to give you a FREE bag of carrots.

Rabbit not included. Not legal in all states. No purchase necessary. Read manual before using. Use is not subject to any federal, state or local laws or regulations but shall be governed by Iroquois law. Special offer excludes taxes, title and dealer fees. By printing, users agree that former Beulah employees, their families and friends shall have exclusive jurisdiction over any dispute or litigation arising from or relating to the use of CFRM products and agree that the town of Spunky Puddle, Ohio shall be the venue for the same. Your results may vary. Do not use if you are pregnant or suffer from restless genital syndrome. CFRM technology is not designed, manufactured, or intended for use or resale as on-line control equipment in hazardous environments requiring fail-safe performance, such as in the operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or communication systems, truck stop showers, air traffic control, Burger King drive-throughs, or weapons systems, in which the failure of CFRM technology could lead directly to death, personal injury, warts, STDs, or severe physical or environmental damage. May cause blurred vision, ringing in the ears, loss of self control and car keys, sunburn, unusual or uncommon urges, uncontrollable tongue movements, and men to develop fully functional mammary glands. Bra not included. Viewer discretion is advised.

You've just been hired as our legal consultant!

[OldDog]

Originally Posted by Clydeyoclydey

CA then got a little snotty,

That's just his throaty blister

Originally Posted by Clydeyoclydey

next best exotics play....Hansen

I knew it!!!

Uh, you meant the horse, not the doctor, right?

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

You've just been hired as our legal consultant!

Drinks are on me!

[Sightseek]

Hey Herkie!

Can you tell us who is Baffert?

[herkhorse]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

Hey Herkie!

Can you tell us who is Baffert?

Well, he's an individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intelligence. He tends to behave ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears. He also has a strange infatuation with yellow ties and sunglasses.

[Rileyoriley]

Preakness Play:

Since I will be away tomorrow and thus unable to run a contest, I have decided to let everyone pick their selected winner of the Preakness. 10 points will be awarded for the winning horse, 5 for 2nd and 1 for 3rd. These points will carry over to the Belmont Stakes Day contest.

I pick General a Rod

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by Arletta

Deb.. Your a good sport.. I hope you get a nice basket filled with "goodies" too when this is over

Thank you. I try to remain heavily sedated.

[Rileyoriley]

Clyde:
It is my hope the contestants applaud me for having shamed The Debonatah into a consolation contest.I told her she was stiffing her fans.....wok good!

My swell pick:

DynamicImpact



For doo dah!!:


You are correct.....Hansen the horsey and not the doctor.The doctor was busy making that smut film with Deb-O-Deb, as she clearly stated.

[OldDog]

OOOOOOOOOO!


I pick Californee Chalk. Er, Chrome!

Throaty blister and all.

[Arletta]

I hope I am wrong, but going against Chromester

1) Social Inclusion
2) California Chrome
3) Kid Cruz

[casp0555]

my complimentary picks for the Preakness

1 - Cali Comb
2 - Rear Admiral A-Rod
3 - Social Seclusion

Good luck to all my wicked little frienz

[herkhorse]

Have to go with CLYDEFORM here, the advanced tool says #1 looks good.
Dynamic Impact is my pick.

[Sightseek]

I thought we were to pick one horsey, not Stevie-all?

I pick Kid Cruz.

[casp0555]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

I thought we were to pick one horsey, not Stevie-all?

I pick Kid Cruz.

Originally Posted by casp0555

my complimentary picks for the Preakness

1 - Cali Comb
2 - Rear Admiral A-Rod
3 - Social Seclusion

Good luck to all my wicked little frienz

My bad..it was a zomboid reflex after Arletta's post

My FINAL choice is Rear Admiral A Rod..........ATTENNNNNN-HUT!!!

[Arletta]

Originally Posted by casp0555

My bad..it was a zomboid reflex after Arletta's post

My FINAL choice is Rear Admiral A Rod..........ATTENNNNNN-HUT!!!

Sorry, I really tried to pick just one, but as an contest player addict, I just couldn't do it. That is how I see the 1st three spots at the wire. Plus, as you know, I can't read because I am from Texas

[geeker2]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

Well, he's an individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intelligence. He tends to behave ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears. He also has a strange infatuation with yellow ties and sunglasses.

Sightypoo said Baffert not Morty

My pick is Ring Weekend


(it sounds so romantic)

[casp0555]

Originally Posted by Arletta

Sorry, I really tried to pick just one, but as an contest player addict, I just couldn't do it. That is how I see the 1st three spots at the wire. Plus, as you know, I can't read because I am from Texas

[Sightseek]

God-Damnitty!!!

All of the talk of crab cakes and crab pretzels is making me hungry.

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

anyone else having problems printing CLYDEFORM? Happens every year on big days.

I am confused and don't understand how many horsies we may pick so here are my four...

California Chrome
Ride On, Curlin (say it like you mean it)
Ring Weekend
Ria Antonia (Oh I will edit this then... okey dokey?)

Now if someone could please clarify the rules so I know if I need to pick more horsies that would be fantabulous.

To the execs @ CLYDEFORM - did you happen to notice the trainer of the red saddle cloth horse (eeew) and have you found the octopus yet?

Omg I just had a thought what if Casse trained a horse and Kayla Stra had the mount? Would it drop dead or just turn to stone or salt or something?

Happy Freakness Day, children.

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

God-Damnitty!!!

All of the talk of crab cakes

Oh yes please I want some!