The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise

[TheSpyder]

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise


I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

I work HARD.

I always get the job done, but not always for management.



Sincerely,



P. Niss







The Response:



Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have

raised, the administration rejects your request for the following

reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always

follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated

area and are often seen visiting other

locations.

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in

order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always

observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective

clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed assigned

task.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and

exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.



Sincerely,



V. Gina