WARNING: a long vent about a crappy day.

[MaTH716]

Jesus Christ, what a F'n day. I hate when my wife's family comes over, what a bunch of A-holes.
First a list of the characters. My mother-in-law (sweet sweet lady, who loves my boys very much. She would do anything for us, but she is a few french fries short of a happy meal. My brother in law, we wil call him Jay. He is my wife's brother, father of 3 and can't stand his wife Tina. Basically he is a lazy piece of sh!t, who doesn't care about anyone but himself. She is an annoying Bitch, that does nothing but complain about money and yell,yell,yell,yell and yell some more at Jay and the kids(when she is watching them). Mary is 8, she is a manipulating little sneaky bitch (just like her mother){I know it's cruel, but I am still in postal mode}. Timmy is 5 (he is a month older than his cousin, Matt {my oldest son}. I feel bad for Timmy, he is the middle child and is always getting picked on. But he is the most whiniest kid I have ever seen in my life. He cried no less than 12 times today. Than there is the baby Jake, He is 2 and was really a non factor today (untill my youngest Michael, 20 months gave Jake a slight beatdown with a hockey stick).
I will try now to put together a Scavs like time line to the days events.

8-11am: Day starts off great, I meet some of my friends to play some football. We used to play every Thanksgiving, but we are all married with kids now. So this is the first time we have played in years. I have a great time

11:25am:Get home and put in some early bets for the Big A. Hit an exacta, live in doubles (that's a redboard) and a pick 3.

11:30am:I hear the bell ring, I think it's a neighbor. I look out the window and my jaw drops as I see Jay and the family outside. Suprise Tina is yelling. I start cursing as I thought that I had another 90 minutes of piece because they aren't supposed to be there until 1:00. Hell, I haven't even showered from football yet and Michael just went down for his nap.

11:32am:Timmy is crying already, Mary is manipulating Matt so he will only play with her.

11:37am:Go downstairs and say hello's and notice that Jay has parked his ass on my couch in front of my TV with the remote in his hand. I go upstairs mumbling to myself and yell at the kids telling them they better not wake Michael up.

11:50am: Come out of the shower to see Rajiv Maragh get up tp keep my pick 3 alive and cash in on a small(red-board) double.

12:20pm:Trying to stay upstairs away from everyone, just don't want to be bothered. I don't want them to be here and I don't want to be with them. I come out of my room to occasionaly yell at the kids and see why Timmy is crying. But hit the Pick 3, the day still has a chance.

12:40-12:50pm:Finally my wife comes up and asks me if I am going to sit upstairs all day. She tells me I am being rude (I really couldn't give a Sh!t), but after hitting a small exacta (another red-board) I go downstairs. I also notice that they have woke Michael up. Eat some appetizers while watching Timmy cry about someone taking his piece of bread. Jay just sitting at the table stuffing his face asking what time the Turkey is coming out.

1:00pm:My wife has a brainstorm that I should take the kids outside to play for a while (yeah, what a great F'n idea!). Hey suprise I am going out by myself with the 3 kids because Jay lazy ass must be glued to my couch. Take out every toy in my garage(boy my kids have a ton of crap), I turn around and Timmy is crying because he wants to ride a little tykes motorcycle that Mary has. But wait, here comes help. It's my mother-in law, but for Christ's sake she has Michael with her. What good is she going to be? Finally snap at Mary because she doesn't want to share with her brother. I snap at Matt for not listening and going down the block by himself, I try to send him in and my wife sends him right out making him apoligize to me. I am starting to mumble and curse to myself about everyone in the house being an A$$hole. Then I realize that Mary is trying to run over Matt with the motorcycle. That's it I snap, I yell at Mary and take the motorcycle and bring it in. Mary runs in crying. My wife pokes her head out and asks what happened. I tell her the story while cursing like a sailor. Telling her that I don't give a F if Mary doesn't like it and if anyone else has a problem they can come out and watch their own f'n kids. I am not a God Damn cop! Play some football with Matt and Timmy. I notice that they are playing very nicely without Mary. I know she is the F'n problem. Finally we go in. I tell my wife I am going upstairs, call me when the turkey is ready!

2:00-3:00pm: Put in a few bets trying to stay out of the commotion downstairs. Watch the Titans open practice.

3:05pm:Help take the Turkey out of the oven, it looks great.

3:10pm:Run back upstairs to watch the last at Aqueduct, hitting my pick 3. I also notice that I am live in a Thanksgiving box pool for some decent scratch with the numbers 4-0. The score is currently 44-10 Titans with 5 min to play. Wow things are starting to turn around.

3:13pm:The Titans march down the field and get into FG range on a 3 and 37 play. The Fn lions suck! Bironas hits a 44 yd FG off the upright and it goes through, the day is starting to suck again.

3:20pm: Start carving the Turkey and notice that it looks pretty dry. This day is starting to get worse by the minute. I hear Jake yell from in front of my TV that the Titians almost break a run for a TD and they might go in. Next thing I know, they are taking a knee, Crap! Also this Turkey really doesn't look that juicy.

3:23pm:I hear Matt, Mary and Timmy elling everyone about the Flintstone vitimins they had upstairs. We ask how many did you guys have, Mary says she had one. But she gave Timmy 3 and Matt 5. I wanted to grab her by her throat, how F'n stupid could you be. Tina yelled for a change as Jake sat in front of the TV.

3:40pm:Finally sit down for dinner and the Turkey flat out sucks. I feel bad for my wife because she is a good cook, but sparks are coming off my knife as I try to cut it. I tell her if they would have served this in prision, it would have started a riot. Just terrible. I eat stuffing and sweet potato pie.

5:00pm: Dinner is over and I just want everyone to leave. I go hang out with Michael and watch some football. We walk past Matt's room and every toy he has is on the floor. I yell some more.

6:00pm:They are starting the coffee, I go downstairs to watch some football on the nice TV. The kids are playing ball in the house. I tell them 3 times to stop as Jake and Tina sit at the table just BS'ing. Next thing I know, a soccer ball flies in throught the room just missing the TV. Guess who, Mary. If I had a gun there would have been a murder. That's it as I am yelling like a lunatic again. I see me son grab a ball and throw it. I get a knife and slice it into 5 pieces. My wife tells me to calm down, but I am on full blown tilt. I just want everyone out of my F'ing house. They sit for cake, I tell my wife I don't want any damn cake.

6:10pm: All I need is the Seahawks to score a TD, to hit the pool for that game. But they just suck a big D!ck too. Just awful again.

6:30pm:I ask my wife when her jerkoff family is getting the F out of my house. They were in such a rush to get here and to have the turkey, now they don't want to leave.

6:50pm:Here loud bangs from Matt's room. It's the kids jumping off the bed. I tell them to cut it out.

6:51pm:I walk past Matt's room and see Timmy standing on top off a bookcase ready to jump. I go postal again. Timmy goes downstairs and gets laid in to by Tina. Jake is on the couch again.

7:00pm:Finally they are getting ready to leave. They are going to take my motherin law home (about 30 minutes away). All of a sudden Jake and Tina are yelling at each other. Tina is bitching that there is no room for her in the car. It looks like I am on the hook for taking her home now. I am wishing I had a gun. They said they would just sqeeze her in.

7:05pm:Timmy falls going to the car, he's crying(but he's ok). They somehow manage to cram everyone in this car. It takes about 10 minues to load with Timmy crying the entire time. Finally they are gone.

7:10pm:Give Matt a shower and put him to bed.

7:11-8:05pm. While helping my wife clean up, just lambasting her about what a bunch of F'ing a$$holes her brother's family are. Just lay into her. Telling her I don't want them here ever again for anything. I also told her I would rather spend a Thanksgiving in a soup kitchen then with them ever again.

8:20pm:Start a thread about maybe the worst Thanksgiving I have ever had. I notice 2 things. The Cardinals are pretty $hitty and I am F'ing hungry.