My best and most loyal friend is dying ......

[docicu3]

It's probably not the place for this and you would think I should be a hell of alot better with this given I deal with human suffering and death every day of my profesional life but the one completely selfless loving being I have ever known is leaving our family and I am beyond devastated.

My 12 year old golden "Shadow" (sassy chance and shadow with those with an awareness of that family).....was diagnosed with metastatic lymphoma yesterday. He isn't suffering at the moment but is disinterested in eating and his usual activity......

All this animal ever did was....

1) raise my children ........he had the unique innate ability to lie with young boys at night when they didn't want to be alone until they fell asleep, knowning somehow by the change in their breathing that slumber had befallen them and he could now safely leave their sides each night. The security he gave my sons is not definable.

2) greet me each and every time I came through a door morning, noon or night as if I had come home from a war with the passion and happiness of lovers too long apart.

3) lived to make our family happy each and every day, never cross, complaining or difficult. How many people do you know in your life that haven't got one annoying habit or flaw.

He isn't apparently in pain and has periods of alertness with a wagging tail, alert eyes, affection craving. Is it cruel to hold on to further time together if you think it is quality time from both perspectives.

My friend has done more for me several times over than I have ever done for him, a selfless example of devotion who made every person he lived with a better creature by knowning him. An example of altuism when the word is used all too easily.

Euthanized is a word I have a great deal of a problem with if the animal isn't apparently suffering.

I love my dog so shoot me......the loss is a hole in my head and heart I'll not soon mend.