New Chemical Element Found!

[TheSpyder]

NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium ( symbol=Gv), has
one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons , 88 deputy neutrons , and 198
assistant deputy neutrons , giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons , which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to
complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years . It
does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places .


In fact, Governmentium' s mass will actually increase 20 over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons , forming
isodopes . This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass When
catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (
symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as
Governmentium, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many
morons