Newt Gingrich! for President! 2012 !

[Riot]

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich announced the launch of a presidential campaign for the next election cycle on Wednesday.

Gingrich wrote in a tweet, "Today I am announcing my candidacy for President of the United States." Along with the message, the newly-minted Republican contender included a link to video of his campaign announcement. The link, however, appeared to be broken at the time it was sent.

"I worked with President Ronald Reagan in a very difficult period. We got jobs created again. Americans proud of America. And the Soviet Union disappeared."

This means that:

a) Three-time serial adultery is now a "conservative family value"
b) Shutting down the government was a virtue, rather than an expensive disaster
c) Newt eliminated the Soviet Union.