The Worst Date You've Been On

[Mortimer]

Well that is bad Sighty-Poo.

Lawyers are swine..they truly are.


They try to tap into their own clients while fleecing them...they really do.

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

This really wasn't a planned date, but ended up being like it. I had been talking to this receptionist at an office that was a client of mine. We got along great, real easy conversations, but she had a boyfriend. One day when I went in, she seemed sort of upset and I asked why. Come to find out she had broken up with her boyfriend, her doing and was going out that night with friends.

She asked me if I wanted to meet her out and I did. We ended up having a great time, talked almost all night and she probably had way too much to drink, which I understood. Not only because of the break up, but it does take a few drinks to be able to tolerate hanging out with me.

So as the night comes near a close I asked her if she wanted me to drive her home and she thought it would be okay. Her friends seemed to like me and they were fine with it too. As we got about halfway to her place, she rolled the window down, which seemed a bit odd because it was the middle of winter. Less than a minute later she sprayed my front seat with vomit.

I honestly didn't really care because I really liked her, so I didn't make a big deal out of it. I dropped her off, she gave me her number and I went and cleaned out my nasty car. I called her about 5 times after that and she blew me off everytime. I found out eventually she got back together with her boyfriend almost immediatley after our "date". Now when I see her it couldn't be more awkward, I feel like going out to her car and throwing up on it, but I don't. Phucking beotch.

Worthy of a vist to a wiccan for that one.


I think you have the best worst so far Hossy.

[Sightseek]

Originally Posted by Mortimer

Worthy of a vist to a wiccan for that one.


I think you have the besy worst so far Hossy.

I think he should go throw up on her car!

[robfla]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

I called her about 5 times after that and she blew me everytime.

FTFY

[Mortimer]

So here it is.

I took her to a dance bar...not a CWD place.Winter.....on the way a drunk walking by the roadside fell into a 4 lane blvd...lucky for him cars had time to stop.I saw it going the other way...pulled into the first driveway to go back and save the fools life. I would have done this anyway,but did know this would tally up valuable big strong man points for me.So I did and the guy thinks I'm trying to rob him.I told him I'm trying to keep him from getting killed and would take him home if he had any idea where he lived....but the fool still thinks I want to rob him.So the cops stop.....and ask what's going on. The fool screams out that I'm trying to rob him!

It was tough going at first,but then they could see what condition he was in and checked my car and me out..so that ended that...but it was a good half hour delay and kind of shook her up...in the cold....and the dark.....in a strange neighborhood to her.

So we get there and it goes pretty fine and we leave.We're about anoher 30 minutes from the her place or mine thing when I really did something stupid.



I can't drink much and when I do I get hungry for donuts.So I sked her when spotting a Dunkin' Donuts if she'd like one......but she did say okay. So we did.



5 minutes after sitting down you hear a car pull up quickly and brakes squeal. A guy I swear about 6-6 and 300 pounds slams open the glass door so hard it shatters....then he screams...' Anyone a you in here man enough to take down a Canadian??'...very similar to that. My reaction was to spit out my donut in laughter...I thought it was so funny.He looked at me with crazed eyes....and turned and ran back in the car! I think he realized cops would be there soon.



So we left..she only wanted to go home ..thanked me......and I don't believe she ever left the safety of her apartment again.

I think she figured I was nuts and held the key to all the nutty incidents that one could imagine.

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

I think he should go throw up on her car!

!!

[SniperSB23]

Originally Posted by Mortimer

I think she figured I was nuts and held the key to all the nutty incidents that one could imagine.

I can't imagine anyone ever thinking that.

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by SniperSB23

I can't imagine anyone ever thinking that.

Dipe..God knows you've always been there for me.




You could give me some credit for laughing in the face of death.

[SniperSB23]

Originally Posted by Mortimer

Dipe..God knows you've always been there for me.




You could give me some credit for laughing in the face of death.

That was pretty funny. By Canadian do you mean what I think you do? We used the same term in college which is pretty funny.

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by SniperSB23

That was pretty funny. By Canadian do you mean what I think you do? We used the same term in college which is pretty funny.

Well I only know it to mean someone from Canada.


But it was true.

[NoChanceToDance]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

So it ended up being her best date ever?








I'm just kidding! You set that one up........

Ha........

It was just a druken decision saying yes to a girl who you wouldn't give the time of day to if you were soba. She was hot to drop, don't get me wrong, but she was BORING!

I remember meeting her in a club, she bored the hell out of me when i was drunk........ i agreed to meet her on the Saturday night at her place, but by the time i had recovered and remembered i suddenly came over with an "allergic reaction", i felt bad, but there was no way i was going to get along with her. Better than leading her on for a few days, right?

The funniest date i ever went on was to a club, we had a massive argument and we both left with someone else.

[The Indomitable DrugS]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

Do you think Druggie will tell us why there were a few posts about shampoo bottles?

There was a cheerleader who wouldn't date me --- but saw no problem with letting me borrow her shampoo bottle for an after school shower.

[The Indomitable DrugS]

All dates where the girl doesn't either put out, or swear a blood oath to the greatness that is Discreet Cat.

[Sightseek]

Originally Posted by The Indomitable DrugS

All dates where the girl doesn't either put out, or swear a blood oath to the greatness that is Discreet Cat.

[philcski]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

OK, just to make you happy Morty...

Worst date I've been on was with an Attorney that we did work with. Really good looking, smart and seemed a good catch.

So he emails me and asks if I'd like to go out that Friday. I say yes and we make plans for 6 pm to go to dinner. He calls 5 of 6...is running late.

Two hours later he shows up. We go to a really decent place for dinner and then he starts talking..."me, me, me, I, I, I...." he goes to the bathroom...more conversation "me, me, me, I, I, I" he goes to the bathroom again. I'm thinking the guy is doing lines or something in the bathroom...He comes back, tells me about his workout schedule, all the girls that like him, how smart he is, blah, blah, blah...goes to the bathroom again. WTF? Is all I can think...

So I'm bored silly...we go to a dance club and I'm even more bored. He drops me off and we never date again.

No throw up to clean up like Hossy, but a knife in the eye would have been more delightful than a dinner with that guy....

He's an attorney. What did you expect?

[hi_im_god]

this is fairly personal and may not apply to everyone but i've come up with a list of 3 signs the date isn't going to be what i wanted based on my own experience:

1) starts a fight with a homeless person.

or

2) casually mentions she's still living with ex-husband.

or

3) advises she's never had an orgasm "with a man".

[The Indomitable DrugS]

My little brother got married a few weeks ago --- the first time he and his wife ever interacted was in a class called "team sports" --- It was basically like a 2nd gym class, except it had kids ranging from grades 9-to-12.

There was this big orange haired freckled out volleyball player in my grade he was into, so instead of introducing himself to her --- he decided to pull her pants down with most of the class looking on.

She claims she wearing her most embarassing pair of underware. She thought he was a major A-hole for doing it...and ignored him the rest of their time together in school.

A year after he graduated she saw him on his motorcycle without a shirt on, not realizing it was the kid who pulled her pants down.

I guess the moral of the story is --- when it comes right down to it --- pulling there pants down in front of a bunch of other people is a much better idea than using the shampoo bottle they let you borrow as a nut-catcher.

[Sightseek]

Cute couple, and I like her dress!

[Mortimer]

It looks like they're in a haunted house.

[Mortimer]

But certainly a handsome couple and great story.