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#21
06-15-2009, 04:47 PM
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Sometimes I do love the internet ...
The Moose - by Woody Allen, Stand Up Comedian
I shot a moose, once. I was hunting up-state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the west side highway, but what I didn't realize was, that the bullet did not penetrate the moose. It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious. And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel - the moose woke up. So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signaling for a turn, y'know. There's a law in New York state against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, tuesday, thursday and saturday. And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine is having a costume party. I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibillity. So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door. I say "Hello. You know the Solomons". We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Two guys were trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half. Twelve o'clock comes - they give out prizes for the best costume of the night. First price goes to the Burkowitz's, a married couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious. He and the Burkowitz's lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious. Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the moose, strap him onto my fender, and shoot back to the roads, but - I got the Burkowitz's. So I'm driving along with two jewish people on my fender, and there's a law in New York State ... tuesdays, thursdays and especially saturday. The following morning the Burkowitz's wake up in the woods, in a moose suit. Mr. Burkowitz is shot, stuffed and mounted - at the New York Athletic Club, and the joke is on them, because it's restricted.
__________________
"Have the clean racing people run any ads explaining that giving a horse a Starbucks and a chocolate poppyseed muffin for breakfast would likely result in a ten year suspension for the trainer?" - Dr. Andrew Roberts 
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#22
06-15-2009, 04:48 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Have the clean racing people run any ads explaining that giving a horse a Starbucks and a chocolate poppyseed muffin for breakfast would likely result in a ten year suspension for the trainer?" - Dr. Andrew Roberts
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#23
06-15-2009, 04:54 PM
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I got in trouble in High School for reading Woody Allen books during yes indeed... Biology.
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#24
06-15-2009, 04:57 PM
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But then came ... quantum mechanics .... 
__________________
"Have the clean racing people run any ads explaining that giving a horse a Starbucks and a chocolate poppyseed muffin for breakfast would likely result in a ten year suspension for the trainer?" - Dr. Andrew Roberts
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#25
06-15-2009, 05:00 PM
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Absolutely bizarre stuff. Woody Allen is much better. Although more perverse as it ages. I still dont get how there is a moose in Saratoga in the summer. Is Saratoga a suburb of Anchorage?
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#26
06-15-2009, 05:08 PM
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Great PR for the upcoming Saratoga meet!
__________________
"Change can be good, but constant change shows no direction" http://www.hickoryhillhoff.blogspot.com/
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#27
06-15-2009, 05:13 PM
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Believe it or not, the NY Times has an article about NY moose in the paper today ... appears Heather is rather rare!
http://www.nytimes.com/1983/12/27/sc...tml?sec=health
__________________
"Have the clean racing people run any ads explaining that giving a horse a Starbucks and a chocolate poppyseed muffin for breakfast would likely result in a ten year suspension for the trainer?" - Dr. Andrew Roberts
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#29
06-15-2009, 05:20 PM
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looks like she was posing for a conformation photo. hell, sumitas would say it was a product of rotten ky breeding and suggest she run at finger lakes. with those feet tho, she needs to try turf.
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#30
06-15-2009, 05:22 PM
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#31
06-15-2009, 05:23 PM
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Rip Van Riot.
__________________
Just more nebulous nonsense from BBB
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#32
06-15-2009, 05:23 PM
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Heather will also stomp the crap out of any handicapper if she has a calf around her. They are not pleasant animals with young present. OK so its out of date. How many Saratoga folks have seen a moose in their village?
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#33
06-15-2009, 05:24 PM
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#34
06-15-2009, 05:25 PM
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Sorry, looked at the masthead date, not the article date 
__________________
"Have the clean racing people run any ads explaining that giving a horse a Starbucks and a chocolate poppyseed muffin for breakfast would likely result in a ten year suspension for the trainer?" - Dr. Andrew Roberts
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#35
06-15-2009, 05:27 PM
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Heather is much better off than her "brother" that got splattered on I 684 this winter in Golden's Bridge (Westchester). He must of been tired of waiting for Belmont to open.
__________________
You have a million dollar set of legs and a five cent fart for a brain.-Herb Brooks
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#38
06-15-2009, 06:33 PM
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Quote:
 
__________________
All ambitions are lawful except those which climb upward on the miseries or credulities of mankind. ~ Joseph Conrad A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right. ~ Thomas Paine Don't let anyone tell you that your dreams can't come true. They are only afraid that theirs won't and yours will. ~ Robert Evans
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#39
06-15-2009, 06:44 PM
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So is this a sign that Papoose la Moose is a must play for the Hollywood carryover?
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#40
06-15-2009, 08:15 PM
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a propane fire destroyed several blocks of Buffalo.
__________________
please use generalizations and non-truths when arguing your side, thank you
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