The Best Date You Were Ever On....With

[Mortimer]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So here it is.

I took her to a dance bar...not a CWD place.Winter.....on the way a drunk walking by the roadside fell into a 4 lane blvd...lucky for him cars had time to stop.I saw it going the other way...pulled into the first driveway to go back and save the fools life. I would have done this anyway,but did know this would tally up valuable big strong man points for me.So I did and the guy thinks I'm trying to rob him.I told him I'm trying to keep him from getting killed and would take him home if he had any idea where he lived....but the fool still thinks I want to rob him.So the cops stop.....and ask what's going on. The fool screams out that I'm trying to rob him!

It was tough going at first,but then they could see what condition he was in and checked my car and me out..so that ended that...but it was a good half hour delay and kind of shook her up...in the cold....and the dark.....in a strange neighborhood to her.

So we get there and it goes pretty fine and we leave.We're about anoher 30 minutes from the her place or mine thing when I really did something stupid.



I can't drink much and when I do I get hungry for donuts.So I sked her when spotting a Dunkin' Donuts if she'd like one......but she did say okay. So we did.



5 minutes after sitting down you hear a car pull up quickly and brakes squeal. A guy I swear about 6-6 and 300 pounds slams open the glass door so hard it shatters....then he screams...' Anyone a you in here man enough to take down a Canadian??'...very similar to that. My reaction was to spit out my donut in laughter...I thought it was so funny.He looked at me with crazed eyes....and turned and ran back in the car! I think he realized cops would be there soon.



So we left..she only wanted to go home ..thanked me......and I don't believe she ever left the safety of her apartment again.

I think she figured I was nuts and held the key to all the nutty incidents that one could imagine.

[paisjpq]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

Best date ever....we hooked up and never talked to each other again.

that was you?!!?

[The Indomitable DrugS]

4th grade.

Sarah.

We shared milk and cookies.

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

OOOOOOOOOO

You are going to make Morty jealous.

It was you??

[paisjpq]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

OOOOOOOOOO

You are going to make Morty jealous.

I meant to call you really....just to tell you not to call me.

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

I always kiss and tell. I mean I never kiss and tell.






Thud

Holy cow.








thud

[Seattleallstar]

best date i ever had was with Cajun, at chuck E cheese. The mouse and his band rock!

[AeWingnut]

so we are going to the movie and she asks.. "do you know that song by Alanis Morrisette?" I said, "you wanna watch a movie at my place instead?"

Then she asked me about ZZ Top's Pearl Necklace

She was the most beautful lady I knew yet she was just horney

[SentToStud]

I was 16 and working weekends at Hazel Park.

Went out to breakfast after AM works with a jockey named Mary Bacon. She was 25.

I couldn't close the deal. Too bad. Two months later she appeared in Playboy.

[GPK]

Best date ever...

1 week before Toga with Antitrust @ Buffalo Wild Wings.


Beer, shots and NO EXPECTATIONS

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by GPK

Best date ever...

1 week before Toga with Antitrust @ Buffalo Wild Wings.


Beer, shots and NO EXPECTATIONS

Well..........?

[GPK]

Originally Posted by Mortimer

Well..........?

shes fantastic

[GPK]

Originally Posted by GPK

shes fantastic

and so was I, if I may say so myself.

[robfla]

Originally Posted by SentToStud

I was 16 and working weekends at Hazel Park.

Went out to breakfast after AM works with a jockey named Mary Bacon. She was 25.

I couldn't close the deal. Too bad. Two months later she appeared in Playboy.

Talk about makin' bacon

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by GPK

and so was I, if I may say so myself.

I'm confused.



Exactly who was it that you did?

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by The Indomitable DrugS

Upon further thought and review.....


D- and F+'s

My idea of MaconBacon is so different.


HoneyB's.

[Mortimer]

Oh no.



I just realized Mr. Garden will be here soon.








Someone is in for a spanking!!

[The Indomitable DrugS]

Originally Posted by Mortimer

My idea of MaconBacon is so different.


HoneyB's.

Macon Bacon is A to A-

Originally Posted by Mortimer

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So here it is.

I took her to a dance bar...not a CWD place.Winter.....on the way a drunk walking by the roadside fell into a 4 lane blvd...lucky for him cars had time to stop.I saw it going the other way...pulled into the first driveway to go back and save the fools life. I would have done this anyway,but did know this would tally up valuable big strong man points for me.So I did and the guy thinks I'm trying to rob him.I told him I'm trying to keep him from getting killed and would take him home if he had any idea where he lived....but the fool still thinks I want to rob him.So the cops stop.....and ask what's going on. The fool screams out that I'm trying to rob him!

It was tough going at first,but then they could see what condition he was in and checked my car and me out..so that ended that...but it was a good half hour delay and kind of shook her up...in the cold....and the dark.....in a strange neighborhood to her.

So we get there and it goes pretty fine and we leave.We're about anoher 30 minutes from the her place or mine thing when I really did something stupid.



I can't drink much and when I do I get hungry for donuts.So I sked her when spotting a Dunkin' Donuts if she'd like one......but she did say okay. So we did.



5 minutes after sitting down you hear a car pull up quickly and brakes squeal. A guy I swear about 6-6 and 300 pounds slams open the glass door so hard it shatters....then he screams...' Anyone a you in here man enough to take down a Canadian??'...very similar to that. My reaction was to spit out my donut in laughter...I thought it was so funny.He looked at me with crazed eyes....and turned and ran back in the car! I think he realized cops would be there soon.



So we left..she only wanted to go home ..thanked me......and I don't believe she ever left the safety of her apartment again.

I think she figured I was nuts and held the key to all the nutty incidents that one could imagine.

This is really good.
Most girls probably would have responded in a different manner.
You would have swept them off your feet with your actions.

My conclusion: you must be damn ugly Morton.

[Mortimer]

Me and my big mouth.