Tell Me

[SCUDSBROTHER]

if you are familiar with a person who acts in the following ways:

1) Never compliments your work. For instance, if you both are artists, and you show them your work, then it will be met with silence, or a negative opinion. That happens in life, but wait...see#2

2) They continue to ask you for your opinion of their work. Matter of fact, they highly value your opinion, and are upset if they fail at all(in your eyes.) This is the same person that said your work isn't good. They obviously think you have ability, or they wouldn't care what you think. So, you think they are simply picky, and you keep showing them rare examples of only your best work (because they are simply "picky.") They never do change their mind about your work. They also never get tired of hearing your opinion of their work(especially if you do think they are talented.) They are very sensitive to criticism, but often fail to have common courtesy with their friends. For instance, will commonly not finish an instant - messenger type conversation. Then ,the next time you talk to them, they act like nothing took place, and if you press them on it they will say something selfish like "I wasn't in the mood." In other words, they are "sensitive," but never in both directions. The sensitivity is always in one direction, except if they want something specific from you (a favor, money etc.)

What would you say is wrong with this person, and no it isn't normal to do this.

[Danzig]

they don't value your opinion. they just want to keep hearing how great they are. narcissistic would be a good word i guess-self-centered another.
or you could just call them an assh*le.

Self absorbed, egocentric, childlike fascination w/ themselves, and more than anything, very insecure.

Possibly self loving (thank you Z).

ANd I still know very little about them.

- Dr. Phil

[GBBob]

Originally Posted by SCUDSBROTHER

if you are familiar with a person who acts in the following ways:

1) Never compliments your work. For instance, if you both are artists, and you show them your work, then it will be met with silence, or a negative opinion. That happens in life, but wait...see#2

2) They continue to ask you for your opinion of their work. Matter of fact, they highly value your opinion, and are upset if they fail at all(in your eyes.) This is the same person that said your work isn't good. They obviously think you have ability, or they wouldn't care what you think. So, you think they are simply picky, and you keep showing them rare examples of only your best work (because they are simply "picky.") They never do change their mind about your work. They also never get tired of hearing your opinion of their work(especially if you do think they are talented.) They are very sensitive to criticism, but often fail to have common courtesy with their friends. For instance, will commonly not finish an instant - messenger type conversation. Then ,the next time you talk to them, they act like nothing took place, and if you press them on it they will say something selfish like "I wasn't in the mood." In other words, they are "sensitive," but never in both directions. The sensitivity is always in one direction, except if they want something specific from you (a favor, money etc.)

What would you say is wrong with this person, and no it isn't normal to do this.

you know my ex-wife??..lol

[SCUDSBROTHER]

This is an example of someone who has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. There are number of different characteristics that they usually have, but the most striking is the way they go about accumulating an admiring (but passive ) fan base. They are not interested in anything but the simplest function of mirroring. When the mirror acquires a personality of it's own, the narcissist is incensed. So, they constantly need to be told they are great ( and they hate to give credit of any type to those that they consider there to simply be their mirror.) An example of a Narcissistic singer's activity would be to cover ten songs by one famous singer, and then want everyone to know they aren't a fan of this singer. "Not at all." They aren't a fan of anybody. They just like the songs. As a matter of fact, in private, amongst "friends," they will make fun of the very singer they try to imitate. The narcissist doesn't actually have friends (friendship is only possible among equals.) Narcissists don't consider anybody "equal" to themselves. They are pathological liars, and have very good acting (thespian) skills. The narcissist lacks the ability to empathise with others, but has the ability to act empathetic ( these are some of the greatest actors in the world.)

Originally Posted by SCUDSBROTHER

This is an example of someone who has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. There are number of different characteristics that they usually have, but the most striking is the way they go about accumulating an admiring (but passive ) fan base. They are not interested in anything but the simplest function of mirroring. When the mirror acquires a personality of it's own, the narcissist is incensed. So, they constantly need to be told they are great ( and they hate to give credit of any type to those that they consider there to simply be their mirror.) An example of a Narcissistic singer's activity would be to cover ten songs by one famous singer, and then want everyone to know they aren't a fan of this singer. "Not at all." They aren't a fan of anybody. They just like the songs. As a matter of fact, in private, amongst "friends," they will make fun of the very singer they try to imitate. The narcissist doesn't actually have friends (friendship is only possible among equals.) Narcissists don't consider anybody "equal" to themselves. They are pathological liars, and have very good acting (thespian) skills. The narcissist lacks the ability to empathise with others, but has the ability to act empathetic ( these are some of the greatest actors in the world.)

Dr. Phil thinks you should stay away from
all Turks. He also suggested you stay away
from all these Hollywood American Idol types.

[SCUDSBROTHER]

There are ways to deal with Narcissists, but you have to understand that they will be virtually unable to honestly give out compliments, or empathize with others. So, when they do appear to do these two things,then there will always be a reason they are doing it. They want something, and are acting in a way that will make it easier for them to get something they will ask for in a few days or so. It's an obvious pattern, and narcissists are exposed by time. You can't deny the obvious pattern, but you can't confront them with it, because it will only make things worse. Any type of criticism will be unproductive. It's so useless with them. They think they are above this.

By the way, this trainer going for the Triple Crown today is quite a character. I don't know that much about him, but he is odd. I do know he worked as an assistant for his father, and his father "didn't have it in his personality" to give his son credit for his talent. So, at the very least, that was a narcissistic tendency that his father had.

Originally Posted by SCUDSBROTHER

There are ways to deal with Narcissists, but you have to understand that they will be virtually unable to honestly give out compliments, or empathize with others. So, when they do appear to do these two things,then there will always be a reason they are doing it. They want something, and are acting in a way that will make it easier for them to get something they will ask for in a few days or so. It's an obvious pattern, and narcissists are exposed by time. You can't deny the obvious pattern, but you can't confront them with it, because it will only make things worse. Any type of criticism will be unproductive. It's so useless with them. They think they are above this.

By the way, this trainer going for the Triple Crown today is quite a character. I don't know that much about him, but he is odd. I do know he worked as an assistant for his father, and his father "didn't have it in his personality" to give his son credit for his talent. So, at the very least, that was a narcissistic tendency that his father had.

So were you just quizzing all of us?

[SCUDSBROTHER]

Originally Posted by pgardn

So were you just quizzing all of us?

I wanted to see if people had much expertise with dealing with them directly. It's not easy. It's not easy to overlook some of the things they do. Some of the simple courtesy things (easy things we are all taught to do) are not important to them. That's very difficult to get used to (especially when you see them work so hard to be liked.) That discrepancy is always there.