Honest Opinion - This is a Serious Question

[2MinsToPost]

I have lost one of my best friends to suicide. He shot himself in the head with a pistol in front of his child and other friends during a get together. He shot himself in the head wth a pistol with a bottle of whiskey next to him.

I have known this man since Junior High School. I was a bald kid who was tring to fit in and he took me "under his wing" if you will. Thru High School I was a rebel and so was he, but I was the lone man out cause when you are 16, 17, 18 and bald as an eagle life can be made hard by other students at that age.

When graduation came, I went to college and he took up a life of crime. We lost touch up until a couple years ago when I stumbled into a bar he was at. He was facing a prison sentence for drugs. We rekindled old memories and I went my way and he did his.

He served 3 years in the joint for his crimes, got out, and met a nice lady. Had a child and was holding down a great paying job. Then he did this.

I have NEVER, EVER, held respect for people who take their own life. But, at this time, I am torn.

I want to pay my respects to this friend of mine - but on the other hand that is against what I believe - Suicide to me is the most selfish thing a man or woman can do, especially when they have a child.

What do you recommend?

[dalakhani]

Originally Posted by 2MinsToPost

I have lost one of my best friends to suicide. He shot himself in the head with a pistol in front of his child and other friends during a get together. He shot himself in the head wth a pistol with a bottle of whiskey next to him.

I have known this man since Junior High School. I was a bald kid who was tring to fit in and he took me "under his wing" if you will. Thru High School I was a rebel and so was he, but I was the lone man out cause when you are 16, 17, 18 and bald as an eagle life can be made hard by other students at that age.

When graduation came, I went to college and he took up a life of crime. We lost touch up until a couple years ago when I stumbled into a bar he was at. He was facing a prison sentence for drugs. We rekindled old memories and I went my way and he did his.

He served 3 years in the joint for his crimes, got out, and met a nice lady. Had a child and was holding down a great paying job. Then he did this.

I have NEVER, EVER, held respect for people who take their own life. But, at this time, I am torn.

I want to pay my respects to this friend of mine - but on the other hand that is against what I believe - Suicide to me is the most selfish thing a man or woman can do, especially when they have a child.

What do you recommend?

My condolences.

As far as what he did, it was a terrible thing. But do you, i or anyone else have any room to judge?

A guy only dies once. Celebrate your friendship and pay your respects. Show your support to the family. He was a troubled man obviously but he also obviously had some wonderful qualities.

No regrets if you go.

[timmgirvan]

Curt: Suicide is never the answer. Maybe it was the booze. I think it would be good for you and the family if you were to honor your friends' memory.

[Downthestretch55]

Curt,
First I wish to express my sorrow to you, and to your friend's family.
Suicide is a very difficult situation.
It is the ultimate form of disapproval. It has roots in severe depression.
Since I didn't know your friend, I don't know what drove him to take his own life. Lack of self-forgiveness figures in many suicides.
In that he's no longer here, but his family is, my advice is to go and offer your condolences and support for them. Their lives have changed, his is over.
That's just my two cents worth.
DTS

[paisjpq]

suicide is the last desperate act of a person without hope...is it selfish? yes absolutely...does the person contemplating suicide recognize this? no, otherwise they wouldn't do it...
If you have never struggled with true depression and the accompanying thoughts then it is impossible to understand his state of mind...
Forgive your friend, celebrate that part of his life that you shared and help his family to do the same.

[somerfrost]

Originally Posted by Downthestretch55

Curt,
First I wish to express my sorrow to you, and to your friend's family.
Suicide is a very difficult situation.
It is the ultimate form of disapproval. It has roots in severe depression.
Since I didn't know your friend, I don't know what drove him to take his own life. Lack of self-forgiveness figures in many suicides.
In that he's no longer here, but his family is, my advice is to go and offer your condolences and support for them. Their lives have changed, his is over.
That's just my two cents worth.
DTS

I agree with what everyone has said! A friend is a special person in your life, friendship is a relationship and all relationships require work, compromise and respect. You may hate what he did but if he was your friend, you can't hate him for doing it. His life is over now but, as others have said, his family remains...and their pain will last forever! Do you really want to turn your back on your friend's memory and his family's grief? Go, comfort them as you can...be a friend!

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by 2MinsToPost

I have lost one of my best friends to suicide. He shot himself in the head with a pistol in front of his child and other friends during a get together. He shot himself in the head wth a pistol with a bottle of whiskey next to him.

I have known this man since Junior High School. I was a bald kid who was tring to fit in and he took me "under his wing" if you will. Thru High School I was a rebel and so was he, but I was the lone man out cause when you are 16, 17, 18 and bald as an eagle life can be made hard by other students at that age.

When graduation came, I went to college and he took up a life of crime. We lost touch up until a couple years ago when I stumbled into a bar he was at. He was facing a prison sentence for drugs. We rekindled old memories and I went my way and he did his.

He served 3 years in the joint for his crimes, got out, and met a nice lady. Had a child and was holding down a great paying job. Then he did this.

I have NEVER, EVER, held respect for people who take their own life. But, at this time, I am torn.

I want to pay my respects to this friend of mine - but on the other hand that is against what I believe - Suicide to me is the most selfish thing a man or woman can do, especially when they have a child.

What do you recommend?

Since we're friends and since you're asking, forgive me if i don't word this properly.....

I think you should forget that you see it as a selfish act (I do too, for the record. It's the biggest F*** you, isn't it?) and pay your respects to someone who was a part of your life.

The bigger thing though, if you want to do something meaningful here? Spend some time with his child. No idea what the age this poor kid is but time..... going to the park, playing, reading a bedtime story...... That's something you could do if you have a little extra time, or if you don't mind making the time.

If the kid is a little older, maybe try to remember a couple of stories about his / her dad when you two were growing up and share them. Funny memories, pictures, anything positive.

I'm really sorry for you.

If you ever need to talk.....

[Rupert Pupkin]

Yes, I agree with all the responses. I think they have been right on the money.

[SentToStud]

Originally Posted by 2MinsToPost

I have lost one of my best friends to suicide. He shot himself in the head with a pistol in front of his child and other friends during a get together. He shot himself in the head wth a pistol with a bottle of whiskey next to him.

I have known this man since Junior High School. I was a bald kid who was tring to fit in and he took me "under his wing" if you will. Thru High School I was a rebel and so was he, but I was the lone man out cause when you are 16, 17, 18 and bald as an eagle life can be made hard by other students at that age.

When graduation came, I went to college and he took up a life of crime. We lost touch up until a couple years ago when I stumbled into a bar he was at. He was facing a prison sentence for drugs. We rekindled old memories and I went my way and he did his.

He served 3 years in the joint for his crimes, got out, and met a nice lady. Had a child and was holding down a great paying job. Then he did this.

I have NEVER, EVER, held respect for people who take their own life. But, at this time, I am torn.

I want to pay my respects to this friend of mine - but on the other hand that is against what I believe - Suicide to me is the most selfish thing a man or woman can do, especially when they have a child.

What do you recommend?

Pay your respects. I'm sure you have strong and good reasons for your beliefs. Your friend most certainly had stronger, though not good, reasons for his own actions. You are paying respect to the man, not his actions.

Suicide or doing damage to others is indeed punishable, but not by you or me. And the purpose of any punishment is only to correct the false belief that God is not supreme. For suicide victims, we must begin by forgiving them and acknowledge that the Resurrection proved that violence in any form is never the answer.

I don't know if you go for that sort of stuff, but that's how I see it.

[Downthestretch55]

Curt,
Here is a site from the UK. You might find some clarity there and some answers to help you so that you can help your friend's family.

http://casts.org.uk/