Going to Broadway shows

[GenuineRisk]

A few thoughts after last night...

1.When the house manager says, "Turn off all cell phones" she means you too, buddy. 'Cause when your phone starts ringing during that suicide scene in Act Two it kinda ruins the mood. Got it?

2. If you cannot get through a two-hour show without sneaking your drink with into the theater you have a problem. For the love of God, you are even given an intermission in the middle where you can go drink. Because your clinky ice cubes are really distracting. If you need your booze that badly I imagine you can learn to drink it room temperature.

3. Men, I understand you want a hot-looking women. I really do. And I can accept that many times the brains inside are a secondary concern. But, if you think you are at all likely in your life to go to the theater, please do us all a favor and marry a woman who is at least capable of following the plot all by herself without having to ask you what's going on every two minutes. It's a Broadway musical, not Measure for Measure. It's just not that complicated.

4. I also understand sometimes jobs require one to work after hours. If you have one of those jobs, and that job requires you to consut a Blackberry that shines brightly into the eyes of those around you, perhaps you should not go to the theater because, in tending to your job, you really distract the people around you. I realize that may be hard to hear, but life is full of trade-offs and those people paid just as much for their tickets as you did, and they don't need to read your emails during the show. So you don't, either.

5. And if 3. and 4. are combined in one person (man who checks Blackberry during show and is married to dumb woman who keeps asking him questions) then you really should never be allowed to watch anything more than your TV set. A sporting event where people yell a lot is okay, too. And you can often drink during those. And I will sincerely wish you a good time, and hope someone spills their clinky-ice filled drink on your f*cking Blackberry.

6. If you are a hot, dumb woman who can't follow plots of musicals, please understand that pointing at the goings-on onstage is just as rude as pointing is in the rest of your life. Espcially so if you're reaching across other audience members to do it.

7. Every performance is not standing-ovation worthy. They are not after-dinner mints, to be handed out with abandon. The fact that the actors clearly were working hard does not automatically mean it's a standing ovation. They're supposed to work hard. It's their job. Trust me, standing-ovation worthy performances are like pornography- you know it when you see it. So sit down, buddy; you're blocking my view of the curtain call.

Sadly, I am again reminded if you want a polite audience, go see some crappy way-the-hell-Off-Broadway show. Because the audience members go to see their friends in these crappy shows a lot, but as a result, they know how to behave in the theater. It's a lot cheaper, too. But the shows are usually crap. I should know; I've been in a lot of them.

All that said, Spring Awakening is quite good, and I highly recommend. And there's partial nudity! But please don't point at it.

[Sightseek]

ha,ha! Nice set of rules.

[Buffymommy]

LMAO! Very true!

[witchdoctor]

1.When the house manager says, "Turn off all cell phones" she means you too, buddy. 'Cause when your phone started ringing during that suicide scene in Act Two it kinda ruins the mood. Got it?



I remember going to a musical on Broadway and someone's cell phone went off. They stopped the play and the jumped off stage and ran to the poor guy's seat, grabbed the phone, and told the person on the other end that they were interrupting people enjoying the play. That got a standing ovation and my wife to check and make sure her cell phone was off.

[GPK]

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk

A few thoughts after last night...

1.When the house manager says, "Turn off all cell phones" she means you too, buddy. 'Cause when your phone starts ringing during that suicide scene in Act Two it kinda ruins the mood. Got it?

2. If you cannot get through a two-hour show without sneaking your drink with into the theater you have a problem. For the love of God, you are even given an intermission in the middle where you can go drink. Because your clinky ice cubes are really distracting. If you need your booze that badly I imagine you can learn to drink it room temperature.

3. Men, I understand you want a hot-looking women. I really do. And I can accept that many times the brains inside are a secondary concern. But, if you think you are at all likely in your life to go to the theater, please do us all a favor and marry a woman who is at least capable of following the plot all by herself without having to ask you what's going on every two minutes. It's a Broadway musical, not Measure for Measure. It's just not that complicated.
4. I also understand sometimes jobs require one to work after hours. If you have one of those jobs, and that job requires you to consut a Blackberry that shines brightly into the eyes of those around you, perhaps you should not go to the theater because, in tending to your job, you really distract the people around you. I realize that may be hard to hear, but life is full of trade-offs and those people paid just as much for their tickets as you did, and they don't need to read your emails during the show. So you don't, either.

5. And if 3. and 4. are combined in one person (man who checks Blackberry during show and is married to dumb woman who keeps asking him questions) then you really should never be allowed to watch anything more than your TV set. A sporting event where people yell a lot is okay, too. And you can often drink during those. And I will sincerely wish you a good time, and hope someone spills their clinky-ice filled drink on your f*cking Blackberry.

6. If you are a hot, dumb woman who can't follow plots of musicals, please understand that pointing at the goings-on onstage is just as rude as pointing is in the rest of your life. Espcially so if you're reaching across other audience members to do it.

7. Every performance is not standing-ovation worthy. They are not after-dinner mints, to be handed out with abandon. The fact that the actors clearly were working hard does not automatically mean it's a standing ovation. They're supposed to work hard. It's their job. Trust me, standing-ovation worthy performances are like pornography- you know it when you see it. So sit down, buddy; you're blocking my view of the curtain call.

Sadly, I am again reminded if you want a polite audience, go see some crappy way-the-hell-Off-Broadway show. Because the audience members go to see their friends in these crappy shows a lot, but as a result, they know how to behave in the theater. It's a lot cheaper, too. But the shows are usually crap. I should know; I've been in a lot of them.

All that said, Spring Awakening is quite good, and I highly recommend. And there's partial nudity! But please don't point at it.

'cole....you mean to tell me my ex-wife was there last night???

[ddthetide]

the more i deal with people, the more i like animals! dogs, cats, horse etc.....

[GenuineRisk]

Originally Posted by T3B

'cole....you mean to tell me my ex-wife was there last night???