here it goes...

[justindew]

Also, the sooner you accept that women are not normal people, the happier you will be.

[jcs11204]

Originally Posted by justindew

1) Forget the gambling aspect of this. Just be responsible. As long as you are responsible, there is no need to complicate this by bringing gambling into it.

2) You can't do anything to make her want to come back. So don't try. The only thing you can do is push her away, which as sure as ****, you will do if you keep calling her. And NEVER question her actions, UNLESS it directly pertains to the kids. For instance, don't bring up the rap music thing.

3) Assume the relationship with her is over. In all likelihood, as soon as you move on, she will come back. But by then you won't care.

4) Dude, be prepared. It will likely get worse before it gets better. BUT IT WILL GET BETTER.

#3 is my biggest problem.... since we have been apart i have been with other girls, i have called some ppl from high school, and dated and ****...but i for some reasson cant assume its over, i want to, but i cant

[jcs11204]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

Attachment 801

you are the single reasson why i almost did not post this....
guess i was correct to think you could not keep out of it.

[Danzig]

since the two of you have chosen to bring two other people into the world, i'd think the #1 priority is (or should be) the two little innocents that will either have a decent upbringing or a childhood from hell-that's you and your ex-g/f's call.
i also think therapy would be called for here-family therapy for you and her, and for the kids as well when they get older. people tend to flippantly ignore what's going on in their lives when it comes to how the kids will handle it-they'll be fine is what you generally hear. not so. you two are the 'adults', if you're not acting as adults, kids only get more confused.
at any rate, kids are here, relationship is a bust. do what both of you can to raise the youngsters-she sounds responsible enough if she's holding a steady job, and it's good that her mom is in the picture. absolutely protect your rights as a dad, as you're protecting your kids' rights in the same way.
as for dating others, i'd pretty much avoid other relationships, as you certainly don't need more on your plate-nor do you need to add more kids to the mix.
just my .02 worth.

by the way, i should warn you-these are morty waters. and i think i hear jaws theme music playing in the background.

[jcs11204]

Originally Posted by Danzig

since the two of you have chosen to bring two other people into the world, i'd think the #1 priority is (or should be) the two little innocents that will either have a decent upbringing or a childhood from hell-that's you and your ex-g/f's call.
i also think therapy would be called for here-family therapy for you and her, and for the kids as well when they get older. people tend to flippantly ignore what's going on in their lives when it comes to how the kids will handle it-they'll be fine is what you generally hear. not so. you two are the 'adults', if you're not acting as adults, kids only get more confused.
at any rate, kids are here, relationship is a bust. do what both of you can to raise the youngsters-she sounds responsible enough if she's holding a steady job, and it's good that her mom is in the picture. absolutely protect your rights as a dad, as you're protecting your kids' rights in the same way.
as for dating others, i'd pretty much avoid other relationships, as you certainly don't need more on your plate-nor do you need to add more kids to the mix.
just my .02 worth.

by the way, i should warn you-these are morty waters. and i think i hear jaws theme music playing in the background.

thank you

Check her place for cocoa butter and newports.

[jcs11204]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

Attachment 803

lol funny thing is, i know 2/3 of the rats in your picture.

http://www.vasectomy.com/

[Danzig]

Originally Posted by jcs11204

thank you

you're welcome i guess. you two kind of put the cart before the horse. at any rate, can't undo what's done. but seriously, you guys have got to come to some kind of understanding about whatever your relationship is or encompasses.
but hey, welcome to dealing with women-most of them are a riot. i don't get along with many myself. i find them silly, dishonest, game playing, cutthroat, ruthless, vague and misleading. but some can be the best thing you've ever had happen to you.
like the guy in the third indiana jones movie who melts when he drinks from the 'grail'-you chose poorly. but it's done now, so take care of your kids. you, and she, can take care of yourselves.

[jcs11204]

Originally Posted by Danzig

you're welcome i guess. you two kind of put the cart before the horse. at any rate, can't undo what's done. but seriously, you guys have got to come to some kind of understanding about whatever your relationship is or encompasses.
but hey, welcome to dealing with women-most of them are a riot. i don't get along with many myself. i find them silly, dishonest, game playing, cutthroat, ruthless, vague and misleading. but some can be the best thing you've ever had happen to you.
like the guy in the third indiana jones movie who melts when he drinks from the 'grail'-you chose poorly. but it's done now, so take care of your kids. you, and she, can take care of yourselves.

thank you again...i agree with you about the misleading, one day she is seeing someone, the next she is waiting for us to work on things, one night she goes out and tells me she was with another man, then takes it back and tells me she was trying to make me mad, its a mess i dont know when she is telling the truth anymore, or when she is just trying to hurt/bother me

[Danzig]

she's probably just trying to drive you insane. or maybe she wants her cake and eat it, too. she wants to date, but you to be there for when she's between other dates. so, clear the air. tell her what the deal is, and will be. you guys really need to sit down and hash it all out, in a rational way. not yelling, screaming or accusing. and not about what's over-but what you expect from now on.

[onebadbeast]

Wow, Dont Ever Mistake This Derby Trail Board As Therapy...
We Have All Been Down This Road Before With Women, Pretend They Are Dead And Move On With Hookers. Never Met A Chick That Enjoyed A Gambler Either.

[jcs11204]

Originally Posted by onebadbeast

Wow, Dont Ever Mistake This Derby Trail Board As Therapy...
We Have All Been Down This Road Before With Women, Pretend They Are Dead And Move On With Hookers. Never Met A Chick That Enjoyed A Gambler Either.

agree with the gambler part, she hates it, but when i win its ok. when she has her hand out, last summer i took her to saratoga once, i went up with 400 in my pocket had a huge day... cashed huge on a horse on the turf named WARN, CALVIN WAS UP.... also i think i bet 100 to win on a 2yr old that day named sargent seattle... but anyway, the point is i went up with 400 came home with 4k, and she took half, everything was great that day

[Danzig]

Originally Posted by onebadbeast

Wow, Dont Ever Mistake This Derby Trail Board As Therapy...
We Have All Been Down This Road Before With Women, Pretend They Are Dead And Move On With Hookers. Never Met A Chick That Enjoyed A Gambler Either.

lol

saw a shirt in march that applies here.

'PORN.

it's cheaper than dating.'

[onebadbeast]

Yes. I Was Married To The Same Woman. She Always Shut Her Mouth When The Gravytrain Was In. Her Motherin Law Was Another Story, A Blaaaaaaaaaaaabbermouth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[herkhorse]

Originally Posted by jcs11204

i am 23 years old.... i have 2 sons, 4 1/2 and 10 months old, there names are dominick and christian.... 1/12/04 and 8/13/07 are the bdays....
me and my x fiance had been together since 12 grade year of high school, she got pregnent right after and we stayed together and tryed making it work. no reasson to lie, we were not that close and if she did not get pregnent we would have more then likely never stayed together. on 1/12/08, my oldest sons birthday, she decided to end things, after 5 1/2 years. we agreed that i would stay living there to help with the kids, but i knew that was a impossible idea, and less then a month later i was gone. so now it has been almost 6 months, and it really hurts and sucks, i never thought i could care about anyone as much as i do her, and at this point i have no clue whats going to happen with us. one day she hates me, the next she is willing to work on things, i call her way to much... she says i push her away, then i stop and she gets mad that i dont call... i went from seeing my sons, everyday to now, maybe 2-3 times a week if i am lucky... that hurts bad. she says some mean things to me, things i could never imagine her saying, and she sometimes seems like shes totally done with me... she has changed so much in 6 months, she went from only wanting a family and only caring about me and the boys to what she is now.... she leaves are sons at home with her mom 2-3 times a week and goes out, shes drinking a little, and just making some bad decisions, including listening to hardcore rap music. its like the girl i loved for 5 years just hates me and has totally changed and i am having a real hard time dealing with it, honestly the only time i dont think about her is when i am at otb, even if im losing it just seems to relax me. still to this day i dont know the really reasson why we broke up, she is not the type to mess around, i know thats not it....she tells me it is lots of different reassons, and i just cant figure out how i should play it, i dont know if i should just back off, i am affraid if i do back off, that i will lose her forever... i dont know what to do

Dude, you are very brave for going here.The last one to try went running down the street with her tail between her legs. You have been lucky to recieve some good advice, and you may want to just take it and run. It's sure to go downhill from here. My $.02: You say you have had a normal childhood, but you have gambled all your life. Somethings not right there. Your relationship has very little chance IMO, but best of luck. Right now your main concern should be your kids. Instead of just "seeing" them 2-3 times a week, try to actually spend some real time with them. Using your sons birthdate as a moniker is not a substitute for real love. Give them some of you. Maybe just spend half the time that you do online here with them instead. You will all be better off for it.

[hockey2315]

I find it funny how so many people on here - a horse racing/gambling site - are warning him about the dangers of gambling. . .

[herkhorse]

There nothing wrong with gambling, but I don't think it't the best for kids