Derby Trail Forums

Go Back   Derby Trail Forums > The Charles Hatton Reading Room
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Today's Posts

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #441  
Old 07-13-2014, 10:17 PM
Rileyoriley's Avatar
Rileyoriley Rileyoriley is offline
Arlington Park
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The Snowy Woods
Posts: 4,484
Default

This is a long one (he's rambling again):


=========================================
Good day to all Fanny Sports.












Oh for the love of God.






Wait a minute.
















Good day to all Sporty Fans.

Just back from spending the day with the Belmonts.Lost a few hundred thou at the races,but no big deal.Speaking of the races,can anyone tell me how I could have picked in the contest, ClearlyNow ----to win a race that was not in the contest?

I think I know who mentioned this oddity.I recall looking in her right ear and waving at someone on the other side.

They waved back.

Not trying to be a wise guy.

Facts only.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHKUcXNq_xk



Herk-ya-latah?? Advanced version? BeefHerky-----consult with Dave Schwantz.He somehow fleeces the "regs" at NoAdvantage to his delight.I don't think you can sell that faulty product anywhere except at NA.By the by;it has been discovered that NoAdvantage is where elephants go to die.Apparently other animal groups follow their lead.Since we're horsey boarding,you are all at least somewhat familiar with e-baboons....nya? The owner, Mr. Grindrock,still sends me notices of all the new doings .He violently darted me off that i-net space filler about one year ago.I send him somewhat wise guy replies and I found ....he does not take joking well.I told him if I am darted then why do I still receive notifications of new attractions that even WonderbreadTampions would find embarrassing.His reply:

"$#%%$&^^&^&^ ( he enjoys cursing me.....a LOT.) Why don't you just go back and delete your %%$!##@$U&! name like you are supposed to!?" I told him it was goofy since I am darted, why should I have to delete my name for this nonsensecal notification stuff?His reply:

^^^!@@UI&E###@!!!%%%~~~%%%!!----%%%%!%$##$!@~~!UUYTY@!


What a snot face.


Anyways!!....there just are'unt many nice people on horsey boards. They tend to lean in a sociopathic way and are easily ignited.I think every word in the English language can be a trigger word with them.One thing;here at NT.....I don't think one will find a finer collection of horsey fans than one does here in the D.O.D.'s contest room. Anything can be said to another player and it rolls of their back.Cheating is fine.Infidelity is fine.Gross sexual imposition is OK and , in fact....encouraged.It's where swell people-----play nice.Oh an occasional package is sent out with questionable contents, but the receiver does get over it and police are never involved.


If one mixed musical goats with amicable notes....one would net: BoPeep.

How in God's name can anyone lose their sheep?

I guess it could happen in Arkansas.That I could understand.


The other day,someone asked me what was I doing on the fourth.I told them "waiting for the fifth."Stupid questions.Did I mention a brand new jinx has been outed on NerdyTrail?It's true! Am not at luxury to reveal any names;just be careful from whom you are copying.Last weekend,I toured a cities holiday festival.The kind where they block off the downtown area and fill the streets with the typical troika of thrills:shamans,shills---- and snake oil salesmen.....and stinky food stands.....and live music that isn't paid to play;which tells you how lively that live music just might not be.I stopped by a stand owned by a woman from Bombay.She was selling trinkets and mystics as well as fragrances and lipsticks .She had nothing that fancied me;nor I it.I did ask where her main store was and all I got was a number and name on a card.I said,"Hey.....it shows no address." She said I had to call and schedule."Wow. You mean I would get a private showing?" She gave that tacit "yes".I asked her if she had ever been arrested.She smiled knowingly!!!! I knowingly ringy dingy'd her that following Monday.A recording said she won't be available for 60-90 days!

Fer gosh sakes-----am I rambling again?

I am?

I really have to watch the abrupt topic jumping I seem to enjoy.


Uhm, Miss PolarCaps....your ice age prediction for the North was just an itty-bitty off.Sort of like your crooked dupa that has one muscle higher than the other.I think a crooked fork lift tried to pick you up.

AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

=:>

I am HIGHLY amusing!

I have been getting my sporty news lately from The Sporty Bar and Shill.I never knew all the NBA GM's hung out in that room.The only bit of news I read that EVENTUALLY proved correct was that THE WITLESS is back.

Oh my God.

NBA Sporty fans are nothing more than a constant flow of drunken hypocrites.

THE KING....is back.Thanks to this shameless plea of NBA fans:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2Rch6WvPJE





BLECH!!!!!!!




MAKE IT STOP!!




AAAAHHHH!!!!








I may become a hockey fan.






Anyhoo....soon, it will get worse.You know exactly what this fine writer means:






TOGA!

TOGA!



THE SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!






Someone violently KILL ME!!!!






This is going to be a very lllllong summer,I'm afraid.Do you think Brown Sugah wears exotic thongs? What would make a thong exotic;this is something I'd rather not be answering in a speculative way.I'm just aksing.But if she did, what color would they be?Forest green? snarf!! Oh gosh,I found that so amusing for some strange reason, but I'm sure she tidies up her yard.Do you think Debbie does? Tidy up, I mean.I think her more the bikini brief type....which is still good.You know,friends.....with pubic hair shaving so prevalent today-----a nice bush is kind of neat, don't ya thank? I think the least all the hotties her can do is to summarize their undergarment preference as well as the general appearance of their pubic area.


Anyone getting excited?

Will SightyPoo include a photo of her Royal Ascot?

Will Arlettuce attachment her strange little foot?


I may be crossing the line here,maybe I should stop at this juncture.Oh boy.....almost any word string is causing me a lower level disturbance.Can't you just imagine the "junctures" of these fine examples of American flesh?

Good grief.

WOW!....I'll bet they all have LOTS of good grief! Baby!!....let me feel your grief!

I am out of control!

Sumbohdy stop me!




Double snarf!!....take it Tom!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7Rn3kTuW0Q
__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
Reply With Quote
  #442  
Old 07-14-2014, 10:28 AM
Sightseek's Avatar
Sightseek Sightseek is offline
Flemington
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,024
Default

I'm going to borrow from MMSC....

What a long, strange trip its been.












THUD!
__________________
Tod Marks Photo - Daybreak over Oklahoma
Reply With Quote
  #443  
Old 07-14-2014, 11:35 AM
OldDog's Avatar
OldDog OldDog is offline
Santa Anita
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: rancho por el mar
Posts: 3,163
Default

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvFSgXpyhoM
Reply With Quote
  #444  
Old 07-14-2014, 03:25 PM
my miss storm cat's Avatar
my miss storm cat my miss storm cat is offline
Saratoga
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 22,025
Default

Someone please tell he who shall not be named that yes, of course I do.

I do not approve of the 70s look.

(Eeeew!).
Reply With Quote
  #445  
Old 07-14-2014, 03:38 PM
OldDog's Avatar
OldDog OldDog is offline
Santa Anita
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: rancho por el mar
Posts: 3,163
Default

Reply With Quote
  #446  
Old 07-14-2014, 03:45 PM
my miss storm cat's Avatar
my miss storm cat my miss storm cat is offline
Saratoga
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 22,025
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldDog View Post
Oh! Oh! Pick me! I'll look there for you!

Hey Old Dog want to see something funny?

Hey Morty?

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Reply With Quote
  #447  
Old 07-14-2014, 04:40 PM
Arletta's Avatar
Arletta Arletta is offline
Jerome Park
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Meadow in the Sun
Posts: 9,385
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rileyoriley View Post

Will Arlettuce attachment her strange little foot?



DSCF0205.JPG

(of course he can't see it )
Reply With Quote
  #448  
Old 07-14-2014, 05:09 PM
OldDog's Avatar
OldDog OldDog is offline
Santa Anita
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: rancho por el mar
Posts: 3,163
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by my miss storm cat View Post
Oh! Oh! Pick me! I'll look there for you!

Hey Old Dog want to see something funny?

Hey Morty?

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Um . . . . . .


okaaayy :-0
Reply With Quote
  #449  
Old 07-14-2014, 08:02 PM
my miss storm cat's Avatar
my miss storm cat my miss storm cat is offline
Saratoga
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 22,025
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldDog View Post
Um . . . . . .


okaaayy :-0


Quote:
Originally Posted by Rileyoriley View Post
BeefHerky-----consult with Dave Schwantz.He somehow fleeces the "regs" at NoAdvantage to his delight.I don't think you can sell that faulty product anywhere except at NA.By the by;it has been discovered that NoAdvantage is where elephants go to die.Apparently other animal groups follow their lead.
Did I evah tell you he thought I was a guy?

I don't believe I have been back there since HIs Holiness was banned.

* * *

Okay children ah was asked to post this:

(... and ah am evah so sorry if there is anything offensive in it).

From Clyde:


Greetings to all my horsey racing aficionados.


I type to you today.....with great shame.There are several items of note I have to impart.


The first being;I am not blind,contrary to what may be said here.I would further mention that Arlettuce is the blind one....100% loss. She has a brail computer,the only way she could follow what's being typed.In fact if she keeps it up she will loose her sense of touch.

It's somewhat amazing that sense didn't go first.

But I'm here now to confess things of my own.

Did I mention her hearing is, as I type....going south---- VERY fast?.

Now that I think of it, it's astonishing THAT sense doing go out the window first.But, I'm not here to talk about Arlettuce.....though she can only maneuver from point to point via a special push cart.Yes;she can't walk anymore.

Now that I double think of it,it's COLOSSALLY beyond me why THAT capability didn't go first.But allow me to move on.I have lied to you all.Been a tough go.I have not had a home for almost one year.That is why I have no money and am unable to work because of the damage prostate cancer has done to me.I was hit by a bus 8 months ago.Rushed to the local animal emergency room and then life flighted to University Hospital in Cleveland where I died 7 times on the operating table.I was 2 months in recovery and my medical bills are over $500,000. I had no home to go to and so....I was sent to the Kent Home for the Hopeless.On the third night there I called a fat attendant, a fat attendant.I was beaten by three other even bigger attendants as well as her.Then I was rushed back to the Kent Animal Emergency Room and again life flighted to University Hospital in Cleveland.

They refuse to help me.I was returned to the streets and billed another $22,000.

I slept in the park for 12 days until my body mended.

Having strength,I went to a candy store and was caught stealing a Hershey bar.

I resisted arrest and was then arrested for resisting arrest.....which I immediately again resisted .This happened 12 consecutive times.At my hearing, everyone got confused and dizzy as the charges were read.The judge asked for my plea and I said,"I couldn't resist!!"

Not thinking it funny, he gave me 1 year in jail and a 1,000 dollar fine.

Which is really great because I only have about 6 month to live and the one thing I don't want is to stiff my creditors.

Do you have it in your hearts?

Kin ya hep me?

Will you all join me and help me in my goal of attaining $5 million through your humane generosity? For now, your merepledge is good enough.Soon I will have an address where it may be sent and who to make the payee.

If you have any hesitation, please,please listen to this for no one has ever liked me and this is why I find myself in this subhumancondition.I get beat in jail every day!! HEP ME!:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_spp-Hmvgn4
Reply With Quote
  #450  
Old 07-14-2014, 08:11 PM
Rileyoriley's Avatar
Rileyoriley Rileyoriley is offline
Arlington Park
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The Snowy Woods
Posts: 4,484
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldDog View Post
Are we playing "Where's Waldo"????
__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
Reply With Quote
  #451  
Old 07-14-2014, 08:12 PM
Rileyoriley's Avatar
Rileyoriley Rileyoriley is offline
Arlington Park
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The Snowy Woods
Posts: 4,484
Default

* * *

Okay children ah was asked to post this:

(... and ah am evah so sorry if there is anything offensive in it).

From Clyde:


Greetings to all my horsey racing aficionados.


I type to you today.....with great shame.There are several items of note I have to impart.


The first being;I am not blind,contrary to what may be said here.I would further mention that Arlettuce is the blind one....100% loss. She has a brail computer,the only way she could follow what's being typed.In fact if she keeps it up she will loose her sense of touch.

It's somewhat amazing that sense didn't go first.

But I'm here now to confess things of my own.

Did I mention her hearing is, as I type....going south---- VERY fast?.

Now that I think of it, it's astonishing THAT sense doing go out the window first.But, I'm not here to talk about Arlettuce.....though she can only maneuver from point to point via a special push cart.Yes;she can't walk anymore.

Now that I double think of it,it's COLOSSALLY beyond me why THAT capability didn't go first.But allow me to move on.I have lied to you all.Been a tough go.I have not had a home for almost one year.That is why I have no money and am unable to work because of the damage prostate cancer has done to me.I was hit by a bus 8 months ago.Rushed to the local animal emergency room and then life flighted to University Hospital in Cleveland where I died 7 times on the operating table.I was 2 months in recovery and my medical bills are over $500,000. I had no home to go to and so....I was sent to the Kent Home for the Hopeless.On the third night there I called a fat attendant, a fat attendant.I was beaten by three other even bigger attendants as well as her.Then I was rushed back to the Kent Animal Emergency Room and again life flighted to University Hospital in Cleveland.

They refuse to help me.I was returned to the streets and billed another $22,000.

I slept in the park for 12 days until my body mended.

Having strength,I went to a candy store and was caught stealing a Hershey bar.

I resisted arrest and was then arrested for resisting arrest.....which I immediately again resisted .This happened 12 consecutive times.At my hearing, everyone got confused and dizzy as the charges were read.The judge asked for my plea and I said,"I couldn't resist!!"

Not thinking it funny, he gave me 1 year in jail and a 1,000 dollar fine.

Which is really great because I only have about 6 month to live and the one thing I don't want is to stiff my creditors.

Do you have it in your hearts?

Kin ya hep me?

Will you all join me and help me in my goal of attaining $5 million through your humane generosity? For now, your merepledge is good enough.Soon I will have an address where it may be sent and who to make the payee.

If you have any hesitation, please,please listen to this for no one has ever liked me and this is why I find myself in this subhumancondition.I get beat in jail every day!! HEP ME!:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_spp-Hmvgn4[/quote]



__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
Reply With Quote
  #452  
Old 07-14-2014, 11:19 PM
OldDog's Avatar
OldDog OldDog is offline
Santa Anita
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: rancho por el mar
Posts: 3,163
Default

You can say that again.
Reply With Quote
  #453  
Old 07-15-2014, 08:51 AM
OldDog's Avatar
OldDog OldDog is offline
Santa Anita
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: rancho por el mar
Posts: 3,163
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rileyoriley View Post
Are we playing "Where's Waldo"????
Er, sort of.

Reply With Quote
  #454  
Old 07-15-2014, 01:54 PM
bigrun's Avatar
bigrun bigrun is offline
Del Mar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: VA/PA/KY
Posts: 5,063
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldDog View Post
You can say that again.
NO...PLEASE..HE TOLD ME HE'S LEAVING...YEAH RIGHT!
__________________
"If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think" - Clarence Darrow, American lawyer (1857-1938)

When you are right, no one remembers;when you are wrong, no one forgets.

Thought for today.."No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit
they are wrong" - Francois, Duc de la Rochefoucauld, French moralist (1613-1680)
Reply With Quote
  #455  
Old 07-15-2014, 05:35 PM
my miss storm cat's Avatar
my miss storm cat my miss storm cat is offline
Saratoga
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 22,025
Default

Took me a while to figure out who was leaving...

Okay someone please tell Mortimer that if he leaves I will turn this thread into a dedication thread for the one true King and will spend ALL my time trying to figure out how to remedy this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cardus View Post
It's too bad that the tournament is over; I will not be able to use "Schweinsteiger" in a meaningful sentence for four years.
Sooo are we talking Morty is leaving and someone has to do a resurrection thread in the next day or two (NOT it!) when He has risen OR is it just that Morty needs (even MORE) attention or what cause I am already coming up with contests and prizes for the Schweinsteiger dilemma.
Reply With Quote
  #456  
Old 07-15-2014, 07:06 PM
geeker2's Avatar
geeker2 geeker2 is offline
Hialeah Park
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Diego
Posts: 6,235
Default

I almost forgot Happy Birthday Morty !
__________________
We've Gone Delirious
Reply With Quote
  #457  
Old 07-15-2014, 07:26 PM
bigrun's Avatar
bigrun bigrun is offline
Del Mar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: VA/PA/KY
Posts: 5,063
Default

Happy Fifth HB this week morty/clydie
__________________
"If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think" - Clarence Darrow, American lawyer (1857-1938)

When you are right, no one remembers;when you are wrong, no one forgets.

Thought for today.."No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit
they are wrong" - Francois, Duc de la Rochefoucauld, French moralist (1613-1680)
Reply With Quote
  #458  
Old 07-15-2014, 07:43 PM
OldDog's Avatar
OldDog OldDog is offline
Santa Anita
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: rancho por el mar
Posts: 3,163
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by geeker2 View Post
I almost forgot Happy Birthday Morty !


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuwpgD1iauo
Reply With Quote
  #459  
Old 07-15-2014, 08:02 PM
geeker2's Avatar
geeker2 geeker2 is offline
Hialeah Park
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Diego
Posts: 6,235
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldDog View Post
RoR !!! again
__________________
We've Gone Delirious
Reply With Quote
  #460  
Old 07-15-2014, 08:05 PM
geeker2's Avatar
geeker2 geeker2 is offline
Hialeah Park
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Diego
Posts: 6,235
Default

Whatever happen to Franny? That must be a long Cruise she is on
__________________
We've Gone Delirious
Reply With Quote
Reply



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:57 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.