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#1
08-16-2008, 07:31 PM
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How to Spank a Horse's Rear, with Dr. SwineSmeller
[quote] Geeker>Today is indeed a day of infamy..
The BABE died on this day! and so does the PIG's Picks... I cried... the end..thank God! [END QUOTE] ********************************************* I'm sorry Geeker, I may have been misinterpreted. I said I was resigning my In The Spotlight thread and taking my winnings to the bank. I didn't say I was leaving the scene of the crime. A 33% return on an investment in a week outperforms the average stock exhange return of about .15% for a like week, by over 200 fold. So, since an old man once told me, "Son, being greedy will get you rich one day and leave you busted nine more, I took the old feller's erudite advice and cashed in my stock. Call it my competitive nature, but I interpret your statement above as a challenge for another game in the Sport of Kings Geeker. You're on. The score starts over at zero to zero. Therefore, I enthusiastically dedicate my newest Derby Trail thoroughbred betting thread, entitled How to Spank a Horse's Rear, to the shameless betterment of all horsebuttkind. Let the game begin...... Dr. SwineSmeller 
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#2
08-16-2008, 07:35 PM
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#3
08-16-2008, 11:30 PM
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8/17/08 How to Spank a Horse's Rear, Del Mar.
8/17/08 How To Spank A Horse's Rear with Dr. SwineSmeller
Del Mar Races 2, 3 ,and 9. Post 2:30 Pacific time. After a search for a profitable card angle at Del Mar today, a triology of plays encasing the #3 gate, sprinkled over with a double dose of Pleasant Colony and Northern Dancer floats to the top. ************************************************** ************************************************** ****************************** In race 2 at Del Mar, the white water is rushing and jockey Mike Smith is preparing for a hootin' and hollerin' rapid ride upon #3 Rebel Creek. This float trip is for fillies and mares that are four years old and up, and will zip along for 6 furlongs for a purse of $26,000. Rebel Creek is a lightly raced 6 year old filly, posting only 9 lifetime starts for a 2-1-2 tote, worth $83,000 in olympic kayak paddles, and she fits well in this boatride at 8/1 sunrise odds. Rebel Creek is the collective granddaughter of Storm Cat and Eclipse winner Pleasant Colony, and she also sports a 4X4 Northern Dancer influence. As a two year old, Rebel Creek was a $90,000 Keenland purchase, and, as a two year old racer she broke her maiden racing at Santa Anita for a $46,000 purse, then she backed that win up with a $51,000 Hollywood Park allowance victory. Now, 4 years later, she takes to her home ground claiming for a $20,000 tag. If I am owner/trainer Bruce Headly, I need to have this girl ready and willing to gather top purse money in respect of a very possible claim today. When the flood gates open in the second race today at Del Mar, I'm taking a hootin' and hollerin' whitewater escapade on Rebel Creek for $26 WIN. I'll also play a $2 exacta box coupling #3 Rebel Creek with #5 Newport Topper (2/1). Go Baby Go!! ************************************************** ************************************************** ************************************** In race 3, a Sensational Score striking from the #3 gate appears highly probable. Jockey J Rosario mounts up for trainer Mike Mitchell and Rosario will tote a top weight of 124 pounds. Though Sensational Score's lifetime mark, (22 starts for 3-2-5), looks less than impressive on paper,... "paper don't race". Five year old Sensational Score was a *$250,000 two year old purchase, and coupled with the fact he has collected $169,000 in bank within a scanty three win career says this boy is at the top of this class. Coming in as the 2/1 sunrise favourite signals that Sensational Score is sound and ready to race today, and he is likely to hold those odds at post time, if not a touch higher. Gunning from the two turn slanted #3 gate is ever a plus. I'm banking that Sensational Score's $250,000 shiney rearend is all the rest of the field will be seeing when they straighten for home today in Del Mar's 3rd race. I'll play Sensational Score for $26 WIN. I'll also play a $2 exacta box coupling # 3 Sensational Score with #1 Pointing Star (12/1). Go Baby Go!! ************************************************** ************************************************** ********************************** In race 9, an icy 3 year old collective grandson of Alydar and Pleasant Colony, Coolerator, takes to the rink in a seven furlong contest for a purse of $19,000. Coolerator also sports a 4X4 Northern Dancer influence. Ice skater Victor Espinoza will dawn his darkest sunglasses to dim the icy glare of Coolerator's frosty mane. #3 Coolerator opens as the 3/1 favourite, and being a three year old racing against older horses, he will likley hold his 3/1 sunrise mark. Californian owner/breeder's Ralph and Aury Todd have sent Coolerator to post only twice, posting one game runner-up finish against older company. Coolerator will need to have ice water flowing through his veins to win today, but I can't find much of a reason why Coolerator should not be ready to do his best Apollo Ono imitation and skate home in front today. I'm banking Coolerator freezes the field today at Del Mar. I'll play Coolerator for $26 WIN. I'll also play a $2 exacta box coupling #3 Coolerator with #7 Mud Daubber (12/1). Go Baby Go!! Dr. SwineSmeller Last edited by Dr.SwineSmeller : 08-17-2008 at 01:48 AM.
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#4
08-17-2008, 12:02 AM
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#6
08-17-2008, 08:21 PM
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#7
08-17-2008, 09:37 PM
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8/17/08 Results and Recap, Del Mar Races 2, 3, and 9.
8/17/08 Results and Recap, How To Spank a Horse's Rear
Race 2- The Del Mar lockmaster prematurely opened the flood gates, causing Mike Smith to lose his kayak paddle. Sadly he drowned on Rebel Creek and was washed downstream all the way to the Pacific Ocean. His chewed up boots were found not far off the LA coast by a shark fisherman. Asta la vista. -$28 Race 3- The $250,000 Sensational Score PLACED, prompting trainer Mike Mitchell to call the Keenland Sale hotline and demand his owners money back on the grounds that they obviously got ripped off. -$30 Race 9- Victor Espinoza forgot to bring his dark sunglasses that he was to planning to wear so to reduce the icy glare shining off Coolerator's neck, and consequently, Espinoza drove Coolerator straight into a telephone pole. -$30 How To Spank a Horse's Rear statistics: Todays wagers: $88 bet, $0 return. Total called wagers to date: $88 bet, return $0. WPS record: 3 starts, 0-1-0. Mythical $2 Win on each= $6 Bet $0 return. Dr. SwineSmeller
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#8
08-17-2008, 09:39 PM
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Has anyone seen my horse?
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Dr. SwineSmeller
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#9
08-19-2008, 08:52 PM
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#10
08-20-2008, 01:03 AM
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8/20/08 How To Spank a Horse's Rear, Saratoga
8/20/08 How to Spank a Horse's Rear with Dr. SwineSmeller
Saratoga Race 9, post 5:30 Eastern time. In today's Saratoga feature, the $150,000 Albany Stakes, a lively young group of seven hot rod New York breds will grind it out for 1 1/8 miles for the claim to the title of Mr. New York. Tested Triple Crown warrior, Icabad Crane comes in as the 5/2 second choice in the sunrise odds. That's because 2/1 favorite Tin Cup Chalice comes in undefeated at 6 for 6, with a New York Derby victory at Finger Lakes included. But Finger Lakes doesn't match up to the top class competition level that Icabad challenged in this years Triple Crown series. Icabod is double Tin Cup's class, and should Icabad Crane not take the checkered flag today, it would be a proportional upset, no matter what the post time odds say. The 1 1/8th mile distance could not suit Icabad Crane any better. If Icabad can take the Show spot in the 1 3/16 mile Preakness, he should dominate a group of his NY homeboys at 1 1/8th miles. R A Dominquez is up top. I'm betting Icabad Crane's alarm clock goes off early and he is wide awake today for Saratoga's Mr. New York contest. I'll play Icabad Crane for $48 to WIN. Go Baby Go!! http://www.pedigreequery.com/icabad+crane Dr. SwineSmeller Last edited by Dr.SwineSmeller : 08-20-2008 at 12:49 PM.
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#11
08-20-2008, 07:02 AM
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 I see sparkles too
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#12
08-20-2008, 04:40 PM
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Smelloozer
Oink Oink
 Quote:
__________________
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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#13
08-20-2008, 05:15 PM
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#14
08-20-2008, 06:53 PM
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It's nothing new - he conveniently misrepresents his results, as seen in his opening post of this thread:
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He didn't have even close to 33% roi, yet took the time to try and make the case that he does it EVERY week of the year, hence the comparison to some 52 week fictious stock market average, or whatever a "like" week is supposed to mean. Regardless I counted 124.00 worth of bets yesterday prior to his clever editing. Last edited by Rudeboyelvis : 08-20-2008 at 08:38 PM.
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#17
08-21-2008, 12:39 AM
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Ask the moderator....
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Dr. SwineSmeller
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#18
08-21-2008, 01:03 AM
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Go to school ElmoElvis, you need it...
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Todays wagers: $44 bet, $144.00 return. Total called wagers to date:$530 bet, $714.80 return. (+$184.80). Profit margin on all wagers=33%. Make that 35%. Overall WPS record: 16 starts, 4-1-5. Mythical $2 Win on each= $32 bet, $42.00 return. Profit margin on wagers= 23%. In reference to the above statistics You got your mouthy @ss whipped by my In The Spotlight thread and you just can't choke it down Elmoelvis. But as I refigured, you are right about the profit % being wrong. It was not 33%, but indeed the tally was an even higher at a 35% profit margin of on all wagers. You obviously disappointed your math teachers, so allow me to help your feeble mind Elmo... $530 divided by 3 = $170 = 33.3% of $530., A third of any number (divide by 3) = 33.3%. So I was $14 above 33% line, making the final tally for my In The Spotlight thread a 35% profit margin on called wagers. Now get lost Elmo...oh I forgot, you already have/are lost. Dr. SwineSmeller.
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#19
08-21-2008, 02:02 AM
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8/20/08 Results How To Spank a Horse's Rear, Saratoga
8/20/08 Results, How To Spank a Horse's Rear, Saratoga Race 9.
Icabad Crane runs a pitiful ugly dead last against the New York Breds as Tin Cup Chalice takes the Mr. New York title. Icabad gets a an F in home schooling, and the newly crowned flunkie will wear a dunce hat and sit in the corner until he is auctioned off as a three legged cart mule. How To Spank a Horse's Rear Statistics: Todays wager: $44 bet, return $0. Toatl called wagers to date: $291.00 bet, return $154.00 WPS record: 8 start, 1-1-0. Mythical $2 Win on each = $16 Bet, $5.60 return. Dr. SwineSmeller
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#20
08-21-2008, 02:26 AM
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8/21/08 How To Spank a Horse's Rear, Saratoga Race 1
8/21/08 How To Spank a Horse's Rear, with Dr. SwineSmeller
Saratoga Race 1, a 2 3/8 mile hurdle event. Post 1:00 pm Eastern time. Back on July 31st, I called a small wager on Irish bred Bee Charmer in a jumpers event at Saratoga. Bee Charmer gamely Showed that day at 5/2 sunrise odds. Today at Saratoga, Bee Chramer is back with another opportunity to jump his way into the winner's circle, and he is worthy of a betback while going at 4/1 on the sunrise line. Bee Charmer was sired by an Amazonian grasshopper and his momma was a kangaroo. Short and sweet...I'm getting the epinephrine pen primed, as Bee Charmer prepares to sting the field today at Saratoga with Ruby Walsh up top again! I'll play the fine Irish jumping lad, Bee Charmer, for $55 to WIN. Go Baby Go!! Dr. SwineSmeller
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Hybrid Mode
