The ClydeVivor Oaks/Derby SightyPooKins Benefit Contest

[Rileyoriley]

We're Back.............................


Contest rules to follow (as soon as I write them).

Prizes include:
1. The best selling masterpiece "I Am Baffert". This book will answer the age old question "Who is Baffert"?
2. Morty's Handicapping Guide of 4/7 ZC's.
3. A $100 donation in winner's name to our very own SightyPooKin's benefit (C'mon guys. Let's reach that $5000 goal!)
4. Surprise Gift Basket
5. Just added! A weekend getaway at the lovely Martha Vineyard estate owned by the Belmonts (such wonderful people). You will fly first class in Morty's Canadian Spaceship. Drinks and peanuts served by our own MMSC.

Contest will include Oaks and Derby days.

[Sightseek]

What if the winner of the weekend getaway has nut allergies?

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

What if the winner of the weekend getaway has nut allergies?

Then Pilot Morty will serve his infamous Hershey chocolates instead.

[my miss storm cat]

My esteemed Nerdy Trailers:

Thank you for the gracious honor of being in charge of the nuts. I am deeply moved.

Now do you want each in a little starting gate with a saddle cloth and a jockey made of a smaller nut or something more like this...



Before anyone asks yes I already know if I make Derby horse and jockey nuts and the jockeys are smaller nuts I will make sure Calvin Borel's shell is emply.

Authenticity and all!

... or oh wait! Ah know!

Can I please pay homage to the orcas (Sighty loves the orcas so even though it's not Derby related it IS Sighty related!!!).

I can make each one black and white and in a little tank and then when you eat them you can release them... unless Danzig is playing (is this for made members only?). Since she disagrees with me (I think!) (and not in a mean way Danzig and I do hope you're okay with all the tornadoes and stuff) hers can stay in the tank.. hell I can add some string and draw evil trainers and hers can do sad tricks that will make the children happy.

Okay now ah am depressed but yes I wanna play too.

Was gonna start capping but now what with all the stress over the nut situation I think I will check on my other charity work. (Not on this board).

If anyone has extra white power though I am trying to raise a few extra pounds of it for Mr. Hammond so he look... well like how he always does on Derby day.





Anyhoo Luvs happy Derby week.

Can't wait to play!

[Sightseek]

Hammond could be cast in the remake of the Scarlet Pimpernel.

[Payson Dave]

Will MMSC be appropriately Beulah Thread attired while serving the nuts..errrr I mean refreshments?

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

Hammond could be cast in the remake of the Scarlet Pimpernel.

Originally Posted by Payson Dave

Will MMSC be appropriately Beulah Thread attired while serving the nuts..errrr I mean refreshments?

Shouldn't we find out more about this contest of which they speak before we decide on what I'm wearing whilst holding your nuts?

[OldDog]

Originally Posted by my miss storm cat

Shouldn't we find out more about this contest of which they speak before we decide on what I'm wearing whilst holding your nuts?

Depends. I may be more interested in the latter than the former.

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by Payson Dave

Will MMSC be appropriately Beulah Thread attired while serving the nuts..errrr I mean refreshments?

I shall leave it up to MMSC to decide how to handle said "nuts".

[Rileyoriley]

Contest rules are as follows:

Friday pick 1 horse in the 11 non Oaks races. You will be awarded any winnings for WP or S.
The Oaks, you may pick 3 fillies and will be awarded exacta and tri amounts.

If you are having difficulty handicapping the Oaks (and getting your mind off your nuts), our esteemed handicapping expert, Mortimer, will be along shortly with his fine selections.

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by my miss storm cat

My esteemed Nerdy Trailers:

Thank you for the gracious honor of being in charge of the nuts. I am deeply moved.

Now do you want each in a little starting gate with a saddle cloth and a jockey made of a smaller nut or something more like this...



Before anyone asks yes I already know if I make Derby horse and jockey nuts and the jockeys are smaller nuts I will make sure Calvin Borel's shell is emply.

Authenticity and all!

... or oh wait! Ah know!

Can I please pay homage to the orcas (Sighty loves the orcas so even though it's not Derby related it IS Sighty related!!!).

I can make each one black and white and in a little tank and then when you eat them you can release them... unless Danzig is playing (is this for made members only?). Since she disagrees with me (I think!) (and not in a mean way Danzig and I do hope you're okay with all the tornadoes and stuff) hers can stay in the tank.. hell I can add some string and draw evil trainers and hers can do sad tricks that will make the children happy.

Okay now ah am depressed but yes I wanna play too.

Was gonna start capping but now what with all the stress over the nut situation I think I will check on my other charity work. (Not on this board).

If anyone has extra white power though I am trying to raise a few extra pounds of it for Mr. Hammond so he look... well like how he always does on Derby day.





Anyhoo Luvs happy Derby week.

Can't wait to play!

The orcas are behooved!

[Rileyoriley]

> your cards, Sir...


Thank you Ms. Dupa.

Let us do the KENTUCKY OAKY.



(I begin.That's not a horsey.I'm saying that I begin.)






1—Please Explain


OK....I think you are water buffalo in a horsey suit.

Happy?



crinkle....


trash can






2—Ria Antonia


I think I saw this one on SmutWorld.

She wore all kinds of leather straps and was nude.She DID a horsey!!



no




crinkle....


trash can






3—Sugar Shock


Brown Sugah was her exercise rider and that's how she got diabetes.

Insulin is an illegal drug in horsey racing.Isn't it? Ah dunno.


ANYWAYS!....


crinkle....


trash can






4—Rosalind

keepah!






5—Thank You Marylou


Should it not be Hello Mary Lou?

Doesn't matter.


crinkle....


trash can






6—Kiss Moon


eeeee-u!!!!

No way!


crinkle....


trash can






7—Fashion Plate

keepah-keepah!!






8—Aurelia's Belle


I think EightBelles' number in the KD was 8.

In deference to that wonderful horsey....I will just put this one as a ''probably not".






9—Unbridled Forever


Oh mine GOT!!!!



KEEPAH-KEEPAH-KEEPAH-KEEPAH!!!!!!!!






10—Empress of Midway


"I hate the elite."

Said nuff.



crinkle.....


trash can






11—My Miss Sophia


I don't think anyone's sofa should be in a horsey race.

I may have misread the name....oh well.


crinkle....


trash can






12—Got Lucky

You think you're lucky;wait until you see who got the 13 hole.



crinkle....


trash can






13—Untapable


Well,well,well.

Lucky Miss 13.

You're untappable for a reason....you high class snobby bitch.




whiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!










1....UnbrideldForever
2....FashionPlate
3....Rosiland

That would be yer 9-7-4



There ya go.

[herkhorse]

i have to wizz

[herkhorse]

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

Contest rules are as follows:

Friday pick 1 horse in the 12 races. You will be awarded any winnings for WP or S.
The Oaks, you may pick 3 fillies and will be awarded exacta and tri amounts.

If you are having difficulty handicapping the Oaks (and getting your mind off your nuts), our esteemed handicapping expert, Mortimer, will be along shortly with his fine selections.

I'll take Battle Tale, and then in the Oaks I'll take 4-6-13

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

i have to wizz

Please refrain.

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

I'll take Battle Tale, and then in the Oaks I'll take 4-6-13

Perhaps I did not explain the rules clearly enough-you may pick 1 horse in each of the other 11 races. Oaks is the exotics.

If I recall, weren't you the one who thinks losing is actually winning???

[herkhorse]

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

Perhaps I did not explain the rules clearly enough-you may pick 1 horse in each of the other 11 races. Oaks is the exotics.

If I recall, weren't you the one who thinks losing is actually winning???

I thought I already won


anywho, ok now I get it. All 12 races?, that seems like a lot of work.

[Rileyoriley]

Morty's Friday picks:

R1....#2,Cookie
R2....#4,LadyMargarita
R3....#5,FalseClock
R4....#11,PlayItLoud
R5....#4,MagicUnion
R6....#2,UnDrafted
R7....#6,Annoy
R8....#7,FiftyShadesOfGold
R9....#9,ALittleBitSassy
R10..#2,WillTakeCharge
R11..#9,UnbridledForever----9-7-4 boxed
R12..#12,SecretJourney

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

I thought I already won


anywho, ok now I get it. All 12 races?, that seems like a lot of work.

Pick by name or number. You don't actually think we handicap these seriously???

[herkhorse]

race 1 #1 In Haste (do we have to use these in a sentence also?)
race 2 #3 Call to Action (i have to wizz again)
race 3 #6 Battle Tale
race 4 #8 Piceance
race 5 #6 On Fire Baby
race 6 #6 Positive Side
race 7 #1 Thunder Road (I know, I did that on purpose)
race 8 #3 Designer Legs ( hope so, she looks like crap on paper)
race 9 #6 A little Bit Sassy
Race 10 #1 Moonshine Mullen
race11 #6#4#11
race 12 #11 French Press