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  #1  
Old 02-18-2009, 11:21 AM
TheSpyder's Avatar
TheSpyder TheSpyder is offline
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Location: Nothing could be finer
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Default New Chemical Element Found!

NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium ( symbol=Gv), has
one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons , 88 deputy neutrons , and 198
assistant deputy neutrons , giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons , which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to
complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years . It
does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places .


In fact, Governmentium' s mass will actually increase 20 over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons , forming
isodopes . This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass When
catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (
symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as
Governmentium, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many
morons
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  #2  
Old 02-18-2009, 05:15 PM
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timmgirvan timmgirvan is offline
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WELL DONE to the LAB GUYS!
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  #3  
Old 02-18-2009, 07:03 PM
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Rileyoriley Rileyoriley is offline
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Location: The Snowy Woods
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSpyder
NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium ( symbol=Gv), has
one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons , 88 deputy neutrons , and 198
assistant deputy neutrons , giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons , which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to
complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years . It
does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places .


In fact, Governmentium' s mass will actually increase 20 over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons , forming
isodopes . This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass When
catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (
symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as
Governmentium, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many
morons

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  #4  
Old 02-18-2009, 07:04 PM
pgardn
 
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Its better than having 1 proton and completely
lacking an electron, like some posters.
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  #5  
Old 02-18-2009, 07:41 PM
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dellinger63 dellinger63 is offline
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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Albert Einstein
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