Charlatan's Layoff Career Over...Racing Career, too

RolloTomasi · #1 06-25-2021, 02:19 AM

Hill 'n' Dale Farms announced today that multiple Grade 1 winner Charlatan has been retired from racing and will take up stud duty at the farm's newly restored stallion complex at Hill 'n' Dale at Xalapa in Paris, Ky.

This is news?

Woulda made more sense to announce he was retired from being laid up…

Bred by Stonestreet Thoroughbred Holdings LLC, the imposing son of Eclipse champion and champion sire Speightstown out of Breeders' Cup Distaff-placed Authenticity, he sold as the second-highest-priced colt for his sire at the 2018 Keeneland September Yearling Sale, where he was hammered down for $700,000. Purchased by SF Bloodstock / Starlight West, the colt raced for owners SF Racing LLC, Starlight Racing, Madaket Stables LLC, Stonestreet Stables LLC, Hertrich, III, Frederick, Fielding, John D. and Golconda Stables.

Always telling in a stud advert when the first thing they mention is what he was purchased for at auction rather than his exploits on the racetrack…

The freakishly-talented Charlatan served notice of his brilliance in his first start, drawing off by 5 3/4 lengths in 1:08 and change for the six panels earning TDN Rising Star status.

Oooo…TDN Rising Star status, which basically tells you he won a maiden special weight at a track somewhere in North America.

Oh…it was a 4-horse field?

Must have been Santa Anita…

All told, the brilliant chestnut who many compared to Justify, compiled a record of four wins and a second from five starts with career earnings of $4,047,200.

Wait, what? We’ve gone over his purchase price and his maiden race and it’s already time to bust out with “All told…”!!

Wait, what? He was compared to Justify? That’s completely outlandish!

Justify sold for only $500K as a yearling and when he broke his maiden there were FIVE horses in the race…

To be fair, Justify probably earned TDN Rising Star status, too.

He decimated the field in the Grade 1 Arkansas Derby, winning by six lengths, in a hand ride.

I guess it’s a “hand ride” now if the jock doesn’t hit the horse in the last couple of strides.

Even the track announcer mentioned the jockey was going to the whip down the stretch. And not for nothing, he also called the winning margin as six lengths so there’s a good chance it was more like four…

At least they didn’t get too hyperbolic and say that he actually “won” the Arkansas Derby…

He rounded out his 3-year-old campaign with a devastating and visually impressive performance in the G1 Malibu where he won by 4 1/2 widening lengths.

That was fast. He went from running in the Arkansas Derby to “rounding out” his 3yo campaign in a race in late December?

With all the stopping and not so much starting, I’d say it was more like he “spazzed out” his 3yo campaign in the Malibu.

Of course, they still can’t tell the truth regarding the race. He did not win by a “widening 4 ½ lengths” in the Malibu. He was clear by at least 6 lengths at the 1/8 pole. I’m not a mathematician but…

He did win “in a hand ride” though…

His only defeat came in the $20 million Saudi Cup where he was edged out at the wire, running a gallant second to Mishriff.

Man, who do they have reviewing this horse’s races? “Edged out at the wire”?!! Mishriff collared the horse nearly a furlong from the finish. And he was “widening” at the finish.

He won his four races by a combined 26 1/2 lengths.

You wanna know something sad? Charlatan won by more combined lengths than combined number of horses he beat. Ran against just 20 horses total in those wins.

But wait…they left out the best part!

He’s the only horse in history to win the Arkansas Derby as a 4yo!! (fire the puff piece writer!)

Justify didn’t even run as a 4yo. Although I suppose there’s a chance he could lose the Santa Anita Derby as a 6 or 7yo if Mick Ruis has anything to say about it…

“Horses with Charlatan's immense ability combined with superior pedigree, conformation, depth of female family and star-quality appeal are a very rare commodity,” said John G. Sikura, president of Hill 'n' Dale.

Oddly enough, it seems like I’ve read such statements a countless number of times…

Glad that we are categorizing horses as “commodities”, too.

Gonna start me a social media campaign to win back the heart’s of the public at large: I Am Commodity Racing!

He is one of the most talented horses I have seen run who combines world class sprinter/miler speed with the ability to carry it around two turns.

You should count yourself blessed just for having seen him run.

Considering his hype-to-actual starts ratio, he was indeed a “very rare commodity”.

Like one of those chicken sandwiches from Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen…

Of course, to get one of those you don’t have to carry speed around two turns…you just have to make it through the Drive-Thru…

Speaking of his two turn prowess, I’m not sure he ever truly carried his “speed” around two turns, but based on his post-race samples in the Arkansas Derby, he certainly “carried” his lidocaine around two turns…

He is a striking individual who should impart size, substance, balance, and brilliance to his foals.

When we are talking about “size” are we talking about whole body or just his ankles?

When we are talking about “substance” are we talking about whole body or just the drugs in his bloodstream?

It is an honor to have Charlatan set the standard of excellence as the first stallion whose career we launch here at Hill 'n' Dale at Xalapa.”

Alright, I’ve ignored this long enough.

WTF is ‘Xalapa’. Is that like Xanadu?

According to my sources (Wikipedia), it’s a word derived from the common language in Mexico during the Aztec empire and means “spring in the sand”. Well, I guess this horse blew a “spring” in the sand in Saudi Arabia cuz he never ran again, so there’s that. But I don’t think it’s particularly wise to allude to a country overrun with drug cartels.

Of course, Xanadu in popular culture is associated with opium, so that’s not gonna work either…

“We're very proud of everything Charlatan accomplished in his brief but brilliant career: He's one of the most perfect physical specimens to come to stud in recent times and there's no doubt he will be supported accordingly.

Yeah, a “perfect specimen” that had to be stopped on 3 different times in a 5-race career. And of course, he didn't produce a "perfect specimen" in the test barn after the Arkansas Derby so, once again...fire the puff piece writer!

By the way, when we are talking about “brief” are we talking about his short racing career or his career in the courtroom?

“Physically he's one of the best physical horses we've ever bred.

Huh? What does this mean? Is this like saying “Pharmacologically he’s one of the best drugged horses we’ve ever hopped”?

Of course, the quote comes from Tom Ryan part of SF Racing, which in fact bought Charlatan at a sale and did not breed him.

But that’s kinda been the theme of this puff piece and when it is all said and done, probably the main reason the horse was named the way he was…

What sets him apart is the way he moves. He moves like a great horse.

“LIKE a great horse”…excellent use of restraint…

…or a PR flub. Fire the puff piece writer!

He is the epitome of what we've tried to breed up to this point.

Really? A horse that didn’t run at 2, that didn’t run in the classics, and didn’t win as an older horse? What’s the ultimate goal then? To breed a “great” horse that never starts?

He is an absolute standout,” said Stonestreet Farm bloodstock adviser John Moynihan.

Well, he certainly has always done more standing than actual running…

A stud fee will be announced at a later time.

Will that be set by the Arkansas Racing Commission, too?

For further information visit Charlatan.horse

No, thanks. It’s probably down for maintenance…